Category Archives: Introductions

Use a diagram to “see” the structure of the new SAT essay

When working with students learning how to write an essay for the new SAT exam, I draw diagrams of an essay pattern they can follow. The diagram acts as a prewriting organizer.  It shows students an overall perspective of what they must write.  Here is a diagram that is easy to follow yet leads to an effective SAT essay.

diagram-of-sat-essayThis diagram separates the persuasive techniques from the summary.  In the SAT workbooks, the best essay samples entwine the summary and the persuasive techniques, a more sophisticated pattern to follow.

What is important is to cover all three of the criteria which will be judged:  1) clearly showing that you understand what the essay prompt is all about (the summary), 2) recognizing and analyzing persuasive techniques, and 3) doing all this using excellent English (perfect  grammar, a variety of sentence patterns, advanced vocabulary and–most difficult of all–your own voice).

I want my kids to write more this summer. Any ideas?

Yes.  First, I would let the children know that they will be writing every day this summer.  Give them time to get used to this idea.  And tell them you will be writing too.  Every assignment they do, you will do too.  Your commitment shows them how important you think writing is.

EPSON MFP image

Set up a schedule for writing time and stick to it.  Some kids think summer should be a completely unscheduled time.  Dispel this myth.  Let them know that at a certain hour every day they and you will write.

If the children have a computer or tablet available, let them use it.  This will make the idea of writing daily more palatable.  (But check to be sure they are writing and not surfing or gaming.)  Research shows writers write better when they use electronic equipment, perhaps because of the ease of erasing, moving around phrases and looking up synonyms and spelling.  If you have only one such device, stagger the writing times.

Since finding a topic to write about day after day will be a problem for your children, you decide on topics ahead of time.  You know your children’s interests and experiences.  You know what they have studied in school, what hobbies they enjoy, what trips they have taken.  These are excellent topics for writing.

Insist the children create some kind of prewriting organizer for each writing assignment.  Insist too that it be detailed.  Let the children know you want to see the organizers before they begin their first drafts, and that you will show them yours.  Monday’s writing assignment could be to develop such an organizer.  Together discuss the problems and benefits of creating an organizer.

Tuesday’s assignment could be writing the first draft.  Since knowing how to begin is often a problem, help your children.  Make suggestions to one another.  Let them help you too.  Let them see you as a learner in the writing process.  Prod the child to begin, even if the beginning isn’t great.  It can be improved later.  Allow errors and mediocrity at this point.  It’s better for the writer to get into a “flow” state of mind and to continue than to stop and start to fix errors.

Wednesday’s assignment could be to write a conclusion and to begin to revise.  If the child has trouble writing a conclusion, suggest possibilities.  Then, read aloud your draft and self-correct as you go along letting the child hear how it is done.  Ask each child to read aloud his or her draft, and let him fix the errors he hears.  Suggest places that are skimpy or confusing.  Insist that the children add more details, such as proper nouns, numbers, dates, sensory information, and for examples.

Thursday’s assignment could be to continue revising.  Identify verbs and strengthen them.  Identify sentence beginnings and vary them.  Identify lengths of sentences and vary them.  Older children could identify types of sentences used and vary them.   Final drafts should be completed and printed by the end of Thursday’s writing time, or if revision takes a long time, have the children prepare their final drafts at the beginning of Friday’s writing time.

Friday’s assignment could be to evaluate each piece of writing.  Use two columns marked “Did well” and “Needs improvement.”  Start with the “Did well” column, listing things the child did well, like sticking to one idea, organizing, adding humor, writing dialog, writing clearly, using capital letters—anything which will give the child confidence.  In the “Needs improvement” column, ask the child what he or she thinks needs improvement.  Maybe limit comments to the two areas the child thinks he needs to improve the most, such as run-on sentences, using direct quotes, spelling it’s and its or remembering to use periods.

On Friday also you could agree on Monday’s topic.  If the kids need to think about it or do research, they can do that over the weekend.  Let the children suggest topics.  The more they control the process, the more willing they will be  to participate.

Lastly, hang up the finished final printed drafts on the refrigerator or someplace where they can be admired.

(If you need information on any of these parts of the process, scroll back through these blogs.  Any blog might make a good mini-lesson.)

Teach children how to think and write like reporters

Reporters are taught to begin news stories with the most important facts first—the who, what, when, where and how.  Less important facts go later in the story.  That way, if the story needs to be cut to fit a space, all the important facts remain.

Writing this way can be a worthwhile exercise for children.  It forces them to use higher level thinking skills:  to analyze a situation and rank facts in a hierarchical order, most important to less important.

news reports JFK's death

A good time to teach this kind of writing is during a social studies class.  Suppose the students have just finished studying the assassination of JFK.  What if they are reporters in Dallas and the assassination has just happened?  How would they write the story?

First, discuss with the students what the important facts are.  Then ask students to consider in what order the facts should be reported.

  • Would the story’s lead sentence start with the time or date? “At 12:30 p.m. central time on Friday, November 22, 1963. . .”
  • Would the sentence start with the place? “At Dealey Plaza in Dallas, Texas. . .”
  • Would the sentence start with the how? “With gunshots. . .”
  • Would the sentence start with who? “President John F. Kennedy. . .”
  • Would the sentence start with what? “An assassination. . .”

In this case, the news story would start with the who since the most important fact is the President of the US.  The next most important fact is that that the President died.  How and where probably rank next.  The least important fact is the date and time it happened.  “President JFK died from gunshot wounds in Dallas, Texas at 12:30 today” might be a good first sentence.

News stories don’t always begin with the who.  Suppose Hurricane Katrina is approaching Louisiana and Mississippi but has not struck yet.

  • Would the lead sentence start with the time or the date: “Sometime tomorrow, Monday, August 29. . .”
  • Would the lead start with the where: “The coast of Louisiana and Mississippi. . .”
  • Would the lead start with the who: “Millions of Americans. . .”
  • Would the lead start with the what: “A category four hurricane. . .”
  • Would the lead start with the how: “With a storm surge expected to surpass 12 feet and winds of more than 130 m.p.h. . . .”

In this case the what and the where are most important, followed by the when.  “A category 4 hurricane is expected to slam the coast of Louisiana and Mississippi in the early hours of Monday” would be a good lead sentence.  How many people could be in harm’s way and the details of what a cat 4 hurricane can do are important, but they are less important than the fact of a strong hurricane threatening a particular area.

Writing like a reporter combines critical thinking skills with writing skills.  If the children report on a breaking news event, they can match their efforts with the stories of real reporters.  Or they can report on real happenings in the classroom–a spelling bee, a field day, a class visitor.  Connecting writing activities to real life events is a sure way to engage students.

Would you read—or discard—a book based on its first paragraph?

I do it all the time.  I figure if a writer hasn’t put enough thought into hooking me, then maybe the writer hasn’t put enough thought into maintaining my interest over 200 or more pages.

These days first paragraphs and first pages of a story need to attract.

Table first paragraphs of books

To prove this to my students, I read to them the first paragraphs of a dozen or so novels, histories and biographies.  I asked the students to record why they would or would not continue reading.  Only after they had written their comments did I tell them the names of the books.

Under “I wouldn’t continue reading” the students wrote

  • No action
  • Boring
  • Not interested in topic
  • I don’t get it

Under “I would continue reading” the students wrote

  • Action, adventure
  • Humor
  • I want to find out more about something

Rejected books include The Great Gatsby, Hatchet, Johnny Tremain, Bridge to Terabithia, Anna Karenina, North to the Orient, Little House in the Big Woods, Stuart Little, Walden, and For Whom the Bell Tolls.

 Books which hooked my fourth through seventh grade students include Superfudge (“I want to know what the big news is.”), John Adams (“I like the description of the winter.  I want to know why those men were out on such a cold day.”), To Kill a Mockingbird (“I want to know why Jem’s arm got broken.”), Ronald Reagan (“It’s funny.  Why does it help to be a dummy?”) and Angela’s Ashes (“Why did Margaret die?”)

Only one book sparked keen interest by every single student, and that was Juliet by Anne Fortier.  Its first paragraph is four words:  “They say I died.”  “Why do they say she died?”  “She must not have died or how could she be telling the story?”  “How did she almost die?”  “I want to know more.”

Juliet is the most recently published book (2010) of all the ones I read, and John Adams and Ronald Reagan, two others which attracted, were published in the past 20 years.  Most of the rejected books were published some time ago.

So what?  I can tell students how important a beginning is—to a story, to an essay, to any kind of writing.  But now they know from their own experience.  Their homework assignment is to write a compelling first paragraph.  Stay tuned.

“Ten things good writers do”

Good advice is good advice.  And so I am repeating “Ten things good writers do…” from a blog by Dr. Timothy Shanahan, a literacy expert, whose weekly blog can be accessed at http://www.shanahanonliteracy.com/  The words in boldface are Dr. Shanahan’s ideas.

student thinking about what to writeGood writers make a good first impression. They rewrite their introductions and first pages many times because they know if those words don’t grab a reader, the reader will put down that piece of writing and move on. But you don’t have to be a professional writer to hook a reader in the first sentence or two.  Read this sentence by a fifth grader:

In 34 more days, I, Robert Sir Awesome the Third, am going to turn eleven.  Bha ha ha!

Or notice these introductory sentences by another fifth grader:

In a famous World Series, a slugger walked up to bat.  With the count 2-2, the slugger pointed two fingers to the bleachers in left-center field.  What happened next became a legend when the slugger walloped a moonshot into left-center field.  Home Run! 

Perplexed student writingGood writers make their endings strong, too. Good writers know how to make a reader smile or nod with satisfaction at the end of a piece of writing.

Notice how this fifth grader ends a narrative about the ordinary day he expected.

I was wrong in the morning thinking it was an ordinary day; it turned out to be a great day.

Or notice this ending paragraph by a fourth grader.

Together, my camera, my computer and I can make a movie.  You can too!  If you aren’t perfect, keep trying.  Don’t give up.  I wasn’t perfect either when I started.

boy on stool writingGood writers organize their articles and stories so that readers can follow along without getting lost or confused. Good writers use topic sentences that tell the reader what to expect. They use transition words like “first,” “next,” and “finally.” Or they use chronological order, including time words such as “in the morning,” and “later that same day.”  Notice how this first grader began a fairy tale using transitions.

Once upon a time Little Red Riding Hood was carrying a basket of blueberry muffins and walked into the woods to her grandmother’s house.  And then she spotted a wolf.

child writing in sleeping bag

Good writers rewrite.  In fact, they expect to rewrite, knowing that good writing becomes that way by improving verbs, by streamlining ideas, and by varying sentence beginnings, lengths and types.  See how this third grader revised part of an essay on sperm whales by adding more details.

Sperm whales, who dive up to two miles, are the deepest diving warm-blooded mammals on the planet.  They have the biggest brains of any animal, living and extinct.  Ridges and a triangular hump replace a dorsal fin on one third of their backs.  Two thirds of their colossal bodies look like a rectangle and one third of the body is the head.

boy writing on a window benchGood writers don’t just tell something, they show it. In informational essays, good writers give examples to show what they mean. In narratives, good writers show a character acting, such as his hand wiping away a tear, or his foot tapping, so that the reader can judge for herself if a character is sad or excited. Here is how a kindergartener showed a character.

Linus is squatting down to feel the snow. . . .Then he found sticky snow to make his snow ball out of. . . .While he was working he stuck his tongue out.

girl with pony tail on floor writingGood writers use sentences that are varied and interesting. They vary the verbs in sentences, begin sentences with different words and different parts of speech and write some long sentences and some short sentences.  Notice how this sixth grader starts an essay with a 20-word sentence followed by a six-word sentence.  He starts with a prepositional phrase but the next sentence begins with an adverb.

During Winter Break, my sister and I always vote to visit cool areas where we can ski, such as Colorado.  However, my dad rejects the idea.

girl writing and thinkingGood writers write for the ear, not the eye. Good writers read their writing aloud and listen for ideas that are not clear. If characters are speaking, good writers make characters dialog sound different from one another. Since most people don’t talk in complete sentences, good writers have their characters speak naturally, even if that breaks rules of grammar.  Notice how a second grader uses dialog to explain what a book is about.

One hot summer day Nate the great was in his garden weeding when Oliver the pest came over.  “I have lost a weed,” said Oliver.  “No problem,” said Nate the Great.  “You may have all of my weeds.”

Child writingGood writers elaborate; they try to share a lot of information and detail. Good writers provide lots of detail—numbers, dates, seasons, days of the week, proper nouns, dialog, sensory information, and examples. Good writers put themselves in the shoes of the reader and provide the information that a reader needs even if the writer already understands it. See how that same second grader uses detail.

A long time ago a family lived in a tiny house on a farm in Texas with a very wide field with wheat and corn.  On the farm they raised animals too.  For example, they raised cows, sheep, chickens, a pig and a dog.

3rd grader writing an essay.Good writers get their facts right, even when they are writing fiction. In passages about science or social studies, good writers use the proper vocabulary. They check their facts online or by talking to experts.  They go over their writing to be sure names are consistent and numbers are accurate.  Read how a first grader uses scientific facts which she researched.

The Indian or Asian Elephant is one of the important animals in Asia, living in India, Burma, Thailand, Laos and Vietnam.  The elephant has brown or gray wrinkled skin.  Ivory tusks grow on elephants.  They help dig roots and are used against predators.

Student writing and thinkingGood writers should know when to quit. Good writing is concise writing. The writer needs to trust that the reader will understand the first time if the writing is clear enough, so repetition isn’t necessary. And that’s why I am going to stop now.  –Mrs. K

What are some types of essay introductions that hook the reader?

Teachers have drummed into students’ heads that essay introductions need hooks. But all too often, the hooks students write wouldn’t snare a minnow. What kinds of hooks work? Let’s take the topic, “When I lost a tooth,” and look at some hooks that would make the reader want to continue reading.

Anecdote: (a story from the news, history, family, or personal experience):

My Grandpa says he doesn’t remember when his first tooth fell out, but he remembers when his last one did. It was after he cracked a walnut with his teeth, and a tooth broke apart. He had to go to Dr. Taylor’s office to have the rest of the tooth pulled out. Grandpa says that was the most expensive walnut he ever ate.

Analogy/comparison: (This introduction hooks better if the two items being compared seem not to be related)

A tooth is like a baby’s diaper. We don’t think much about either of them when they are working fine. But if they are falling out or falling off, that’s all we can think of!

Dialog: (Use quotation marks. Each time a different person talks, start a new paragraph.)

“Hey, Mom, how much did the tooth fairy bring when your teeth fell out?”
“A nickel a tooth.”
“A nickel a tooth! That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
“Didn’t they invent quarters back then?”

Irony/humor:

Every six or seven-year-old kid loses teeth. Why, there must be millions of kids all over the world right now who can’t eat corn on the cob.

Statistics:

When I was in first grade, every single kid lost a tooth, and most of us lost more than one. Billy Ellingham was the champion though. He lost seven teeth that year. I remember because we kept track with a bar graph on the bulletin board.

Startling claim:

Suppose you brush your teeth for a minute in the morning and a minute in the evening every day this year. That’s 730 minutes, or more than 12 hours standing in front of a sink brushing and spitting.

Compelling question:

Did you know that when a shark’ tooth falls out, the shark can grow a new tooth as many times as it needs to?

Generalization:

My Grandma calls my teeth my pearly whites.

Next we’ll look at some of the mechanics of writing a first draft that make revising easier.