In working with a middle grades student recently, I mentioned that, based on my experience, many English teachers don’t teach revising of essays. “Not mine,” said the student proudly, opening his computer and pulling up a page called “Revising” written by his teacher. “Read it,” he said. I did. Here is the gist of it.
- Find instances of the verb “said” in all its forms, count them, and replace ¾ of them.
- Identify pronouns, count them, and replace half with nouns.
- Identify certain “boring” words (from a list given by the teacher) and change 99% of them to more detailed vocabulary.
- Make sure your writing follows your organizer.
One of the problems with these instructions (aside from their usefulness) is what is missing about revising. Little or none of the advice deals with developing a thesis or main idea, organizing it, developing and sequencing ideas, writing logically, creating tone and voice, writing with varied sentence structures, or writing introductions and conclusions. Yet these are far more important areas of writing than identifying the verb “to say” or replacing pronouns with nouns.
Students today are poor writers for many reasons. Lack of practice, poor modeling, and little teacher intervention until the writing is being graded are a few. But so is poor or little advice on how to revise, and the kind of teacher training which largely ignores research.
I suspect the teacher who composed the above revising instructions, like most teachers, is well-intentioned. But she is probably not an experienced writer. If she were, she would know that the verb “said” should not be replaced with words like “reported,” spoke,” “advised,” or “shouted.” Those synonyms draw attention away from what was said to how it was said, diluting the message. Pronouns should not routinely be replaced with nouns. At first reference, a noun should be used, but in subsequent referrals in the same paragraph, a pronoun should be used. Yes, “boring” words should be replaced, especially verbs, with more precise vocabulary. And yes again, first drafts should follow an organizer.
Two out of four are good advice. 50%. This is reason why students today are poor writers.
English Writing Teacher 