Category Archives: essay thesis

When you are writing the sentences of an essay, where do you begin?

  1.  with the hook?
  2. with the introduction?
  3. with the thesis or essay topic sentence?
  4. with the supporting topic sentences?
  5. with the conclusion?

The answer is with the thesis /  essay topic sentence.

3rd grader writing an essay.But too many students don’t start there.  They start with a topic—say Harry Potter books—and then focus on writing a hook to get someone to read their essay about Harry Potter books.  When they are writing their hook they have no idea about the precise topic of their essay, just that it has something to do with Harry Potter books.  Wrong approach!

To impress upon my students how primary the thesis is to an essay, I have them write it on their planner before they plan in detail.  Then when they begin to write sentences, I have them skip five or six lines on notebook paper (or on a computer) and write their thesis there, partway down the paper, leaving room to add an introduction later.

The thesis is the anchor of the whole paper.  I have students box that sentence in color for easy referral.

Next, I have the student write the body paragraph topic sentences. This time I ask students to skip ten or more spaces after each body paragraph.  Later they can come back and fill in those spaces with details.

We read over those topic sentences and check out each one against the thesis.  Does the topic sentence support the thesis?  If yes, keep it.  If no, toss it and write another topic sentence which does.

Next, students write the body paragraph sentences with all the details which back up the paragraph’s topic sentence and the thesis.

Now that they know what their essay is about they can go back and write the introduction and the conclusion.

Think of an essay as a wedding ceremony.  What is most important in the ceremony?  Is it the music as the bride walks down the aisle?  Is it the flowers?   Is it the witnesses?  The kiss?  Of course not.  It’s the vows.  The vows are just a few words.  “I take you, Harry, to be my husband.”  “I take you, Meghan, to be my wife.”  Those vows are followed by supporting details like “for better or for worse,” and “in sickness and in health.”

The vows are like the thesis.  “In good times and in bad” and the other details are like the body of the essay.  The music is like the introduction and conclusion.  And the bride’s beautiful dress is the hook.  You can have a wedding without the dress and the music, but you cannot have one without the vows.  The vows are where you begin, just as the thesis is where you begin an essay.

An essay is a planned, organized piece of writing with one overarching idea expressed in a topic sentence / thesis.  Until you know what that thesis is, it makes no sense to write any other sentences because every other sentence must support the thesis.

Where do you start writing an essay?

An essay always starts with a topic.  Your teacher might assign a topic based on what you are studying in school, such as evolution or Romeo and Juliet.

But then what?  Do you just start writing?  Not if you want a good essay!  No, you think about the topic, about what interests you.  Does Harry Potter’s relationship with his aunt, uncle and cousin interest you?  Does the paucity of strong female characters—just Hermione and Professor McGonagall—in the Harry Potter series interest you?  You need to narrow down the topic.  At this point, you may have written a list but no sentences.

So when do you start writing sentences?  You start with a working thesis or topic sentence for the whole essay.  Your thesis needs to be a statement, and it should be an opinion which you can back up with evidence.  “Harry Potter’s aunt and uncle were lousy parents for him.”  “Harry Potter books contain few strong female characters compared to strong male characters.”

Now what?  Now come up with two, three, or four supporting ideas for that thesis statement (three if your teacher demands a five-paragraph essay).  Write those supporting ideas as statements.  “Harry’s aunt and uncle were lousy parents because they forced him to live in a closet while Dudley had a big bedroom.”  “Harry’s aunt and uncle were lousy parents because they bought few toys for Harry and many for Dudley.”  “Harry’s aunt and uncle were lousy parents because they didn’t tell him the truth about his dead parents.”

Thesis written.  Supporting ideas written.  Now what?  Do you start your introduction?  No.  Now you search for evidence to back up your supporting ideas.  Under each supporting idea, use three or more bullets to identify evidence.  Use direct quotes or paraphrases.  Add page numbers or other citation information.  You want to have plenty of proof that your supporting ideas are true.  If you can’t find enough evidence, eliminate that supporting idea and write another for which you can find data.

Thesis written, supporting ideas written, evidence jotted down.  Now do you begin your introduction?  Yes.  Think how you can start out with either a hook or with general information about your thesis, narrowing your information with each introductory sentence you write.

For example, you could start by saying that Harry was raised by his aunt and uncle, a general fact.  Next you could say that his aunt and uncle have a son about Harry’s age, another general fact.  Now you say that Harry and Dudley are treated differently by Harry’s aunt and uncle, and that Harry is not treated well.  Do you see how you are going from general information—Harry is raised by an aunt and uncle—to more specific information—Harry is not treated well by his aunt and uncle.  Now you can add your thesis as the last sentence in this introductory paragraph.

Adding your body paragraphs should be easy.  You already wrote the first sentence of each body paragraph, and you listed evidence.  Turn the list into sentences and your body is done.

Now it is time to write the conclusion.   Two “go-to” conclusions that work well are a full circle conclusion–returning to something you said in your introduction–or future looking introduction–talking about the future of the topic.  For example, you could go full circle by saying that Harry’s aunt and uncle were lousy parents, but they provide a great deal of humor at the beginning of the Harry Potter books, hooking young readers.  Or you could look to the future by saying that Harry Potter would certainly raise his children differently from the way his aunt and uncle raised him, providing comfortable bedrooms and using closets for clothes, broom sticks and wands–and maybe for a photo of their great uncle, great aunt and cousin.

College writing is moving into high school

I am working with a high school sophomore who is writing an argumentative research paper, the kind of research paper I was required to write in college.

His teacher identified the type of information required for each paragraph in a handout.  It includes a hook leading into an introduction leading into a thesis, using a funnel effect to taper to the thesis.  The thesis must have several elements, all of which must be backed with data in the body.

The body must have at least three sections of data supporting the thesis, plus a counter argument which must be debunked.  The conclusion should not merely repeat the thesis but in some other way support the ideas of the essay.

This essay is due not for an A.P. course but for a regular sophomore English class.

With another high school sophomore, I worked on a Toulmin essay.  This kind of essay has a rigid structure for each body paragraph.  First comes a position statement or thesis; second, a claim or example supporting the position; third, data cited to support the claim; fourth, a warrant or a clarification of the connection between the claim and the data; fifth, a counterclaim which rebuts the thesis; and last, a rebuttal with data to destroy the counterclaim.

With another high school freshman I worked on a response to a news article using the SAOQ method:  summarize the article in a few sentences; analyze the main idea or some aspect of the article; offer your opinion on the ideas in the article, using logical arguments to back your opinion; and offer three discussion questions of a probing nature to show you have pondered the article.

These assignments call on higher level thinking skills:  analyzing information; researching, using and citing appropriate data; recognizing truth from stereotypes or “fake news”; recognizing valid counterclaims; evaluating ideas; and synthesizing information into new literary forms.

In short, these writing assignments require critical thinking, the kind of thinking the Common Core Standards advocate.  No matter what you may think of the Common Core Standards, they are putting pressure on schools to develop students who can think.  In the three schools where my three students study, the schools and the students are meeting the challenge.

Turning around student achievement through structured writing

Several years ago, a high school principal investigated why so many of her students were failing.  After staff-wide research, the reason became clear:  bad writing, an inability to turn thoughts into sentences, paragraphs and essays.  A rigorous program of writing in every subject except math ensued, and within two years, final statewide exam scores rose 10 to 20 points.

Teachers began this new program by teaching a simple skill:  how to turn ideas into simple sentences.  When students could do that, they learned how put ideas into compound and complex sentences.

Students learned how to identify the main idea in a paragraph next, and then how to write a paragraph with a main idea.  Once paragraphs were mastered, it was on to essays, learning how to develop an introduction and controlling idea (thesis) and how to write body paragraphs to back up that controlling idea.  Students learned how to incorporate details into their writing, especially examples.

What students were taught was to think critically through structured writing—a point of view with facts to back it up.  To do it well takes planning and organizing ideas.  It is the kind of writing which the Common Core State Standards expects all high school students to master.

To find out more about this amazing success story at New Dorp High School in Staten Island, go to Peg Tyre’s article in The Atlantic.  Though it was published five years ago, the story–and the method to improve thinking through structured writing–is just as relevant today.  https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2012/10/the-writing-revolution/309090/

What is a weak thesis?

Many students don’t know the difference between a weak thesis and a strong thesis.  Here are some clues that show that an essay’s thesis is weak:

A thesis is weak if it is already known to be true, so there is nothing new to be explored.  For example,

  • Smoking is bad for human health.
  • Benjamin Franklin was an 18th century inventor.
  • The New England Patriots are a great football team.

A thesis is weak if it is a personal belief, not something to be investigated.  For example,

  • Summer is the best season.
  • Middle school is harder than elementary school.
  • Abraham Lincoln ranks number one among US Presidents.

The thesis is weak if it is too broad to be thoroughly investigated.

  • Hurricanes are dangerous storms.
  • Nancy drew books appeal to girls.
  • Romeo and Juliet is a tragedy.

The thesis is weak if it does not make a claim needing to be proven.  For example,

  • Dr. Seuss wrote popular children’s books.
  • Being a police officer is both good and bad.
  • In chess, each piece moves in particular ways.

The thesis is weak if it is not controversial, not a statement over which people can disagree.

  • Barak Obama was the 44th President of the US.
  • No human being has lived for 130 years.
  • Alex Fleming’s discovery of penicillin mold was one the greatest medical discoveries of the 20th century.