Category Archives: writing tips

Write first, revise second, third, fourth, and edit last

Revising and editing are distinct actions.

Revising means changing text in significant ways, such as adding or deleting words, sentences, paragraphs or even whole scenes.  Revising means changing weak verbs to stronger, specific verbs.  Revising means changing sentence order or sentence beginnings or combining sentences or separating too many ideas in one sentence.  Revising means making big changes and should be done before editing.

Editing means polishing text in subtle ways, such as changing punctuation, spelling, and choice of synonyms and antonyms.  Editing means deleting most -ly adverbs, many adjectives, and obvious information.  Editing means making small changes, sometimes stylistic changes, and should be done after revising.

Which are revising and which are editing?

revising editing
Deleting backstory from the beginning of text
Using simple Anglo-Saxon vocabulary instead of longer, more complicated words
Replacing abstract nouns with concrete verbs
Deleting vague, qualifying words (e.g. some, never)
Deleting “that” except when needed for clarity
Combining sentences to delete unnecessary words
Adding information for clarity
Using “said” instead of “told,” “related,” “cried,” and other words saying how a person spoke
Replacing forms of the verb “to be” with specific verbs, action verbs if possible
Rewriting sentence beginnings for variety
Replacing most compound sentences or compound predicates with complicated simple sentences
Deleting overused words like “so,” “then,” “just” and “like”
Rewriting conclusions to add meatier ideas
In dialog between two people, not identifying who is speaking for each line of dialog
Writing direct dialog rather than indirect dialog.
Calculating words per sentence to keep within 15 to 20 words on average.
Looking for the kind of grammar mistakes you often make, such as run-ons, and fixing them.
Showing, not telling.

A mistake student writers make is to edit as they write, losing the flow of their thoughts.  It’s better to keep going, even though you know you spelled a word wrong and are tempted to look it up.  Writing is harder than editing which is why writers are tempted to edit as they go.  This is particularly true of perfectionists.

Editing before revising is a waste of time.  Good revising will delete many early edits.  Write first, revise second and third and forth, and edit last.

One easy way to improve your writing:  Read it aloud

When students and I revise their writing, the first thing I ask them to do is to read their draft aloud.  New-to-me students balk at this.  “Oh, that’s all right,” they tell me.  “You can read it.”

girl with pony tail on floor writing“No, you read it,” I say, attempting to instill in them this habit.  I have asked them to read aloud before our lesson, but they haven’t.  I can tell they haven’t read aloud previously because they stop in the middle of sentences, pause, and then make changes in their draft.

They are hearing mistakes with their ears that they don’t see with their eyes.

What kinds of mistakes do they hear?  Errors that sound wrong, even if sometimes they are grammatically correct.  These include

  • Long sentences that contain so much information that the student writer gets lost.
  • Sentences that have been revised but still contain some of the no-longer-needed words.
  • Confusing pronouns, such as when the writing is about two boys, and he writer uses “he” and “him” over and over without identifying the boys by their names.

What kinds of mistakes don’t they hear?  Visual errors are hard to hear.  These include

  • Homophones (words which sound the same but are spelled differently, such as pair and pear).
  • Spelling errors (such as reading “hoping” as “hopping”).
  • Run-on sentences separated by a comma, especially if the second clause begins with a subject pronoun.

Reading aloud doesn’t lead to finding all errors, but I have rarely worked with a student who doesn’t find at least one error when reading aloud.

Imitate classic sentences, part 2

Several weeks ago I wrote a blog about improving sentence construction by copying sentence structures of good writers.  (See my blog “Imitate classic sentences to improve your writing. ) The type sentences I discussed then were cumulative sentences, sometimes called additive sentences, which informally add more information as the sentence goes on, as this sentence does.

Today I would like to discuss copying the structure of more formal sentences created by careful planning.  They “breathe” conviction and confidence, according to Stanley Fish, author of How to Write a Sentence.

One example is the opening sentence of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice:  “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.”  Another such sentence is the first sentence of Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina:  “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.”  Still another is the opening clauses of Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities:  “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.”  These sentences encourage the reader to pause and consider their meanings for truth, for irony, and for insight.

How can you create your own such sentences?  According to Fish, you should analyze sentences you recognize as great, remove the content and fill in the structure with your own content.  (It’s like baking a potato, scooping out the center, and then filling the skin with your homemade chili.)  To do this, Fish advises you to

  • write short sentences.
  • use parallel structures.
  • use one- or two-syllable words
  • use the present tense.

Here are some examples I wrote:

“When taking a trip with kids, go to playgrounds first before you run out of sunny days and sunny spirits.”  Let’s analyze this sentence using Fish’s advice.

  • Write short sentences.  20 words
  • Use parallel structures.  “sunny days and sunny spirits”
  • Use one- or two-syllable words.  14 one-syllable words, 6 two-syllable words, 0 three-syllable words
  • Use present tense.  Done

Here is another.  “Keep your children close and your spouse closer.”

  • Write short sentences.  8 words
  • Use parallel structure.  “Keep your children close and [keep] your spouse closer.”
  • Use one- or two-syllable words. 6 one-syllable words, 2 two-syllable words, 0 three-syllable words
  • Use present tense.  Done

And another:  “When soldiers drill from dawn to dusk on borders dense with tanks and such,  beware of Trojan horses.”

  • Write short sentences:  18 words
  • Use parallel structure.  “from dawn to dusk,” “with tanks and such”
  • Use one- or two-syllable words.  13 one-syllable words, 5 two-syllable words, 0 three-syllable words
  • Use present tense.  Done

When could you use such sentences?

  • the opening sentences of a novel, short story, or speech
  • the closing of a letter or an article or a chapter
  • a “gotcha ya!” retort from a character or yourself
  • the moral of a story

According to Fish, the more you write these sentences, the easier you write them.  And the easier they become, the more you use them.  (Did you notice?  I just wrote two of them.)

Six writing problems—and solutions—for children with ADHD

Writing, like reading, is really many skills used together to produce a product.  These skills include:

prewriting skills (deciding on a topic, narrowing it down to one main idea, gathering information, and sequencing it),

composition skills (figuring out how to begin, sticking to the plan, concluding, writing in complete sentences, including details, and using good vocabulary, grammar, spelling and punctuation),

revising skills (adding missing information, reordering ideas or sentences, deleting off-topic information, and confining or expanding information to the desired length),

editing skills (checking for grammar, spelling and punctuation),

handwriting legibly, and

finishing by the deadline.

For children without ADHD, integrating all these skills produces anxiety.  But for children with ADHD, writing might produce tears, temper tantrums, and shut-downs.  Yet there are ways to mitigate the fear of writing, and with time, to overcome it.

Some of the most noticeable problems ADHD students face when writing and some solutions to those problems include

Staying focused long enough to remember what to say. One solution is demanding that students create a written organizer.  It can start as a list of ideas/details related to the topic.  Then students can group the related details, using colored highlighters to identify what ideas go together.  Lastly the student can number the colors in the order in which he/she wants to use them in the writing passage.  Teachers need to model how to create such organizers and how to implement them, over and over, until students realize organizing before they begin is as much a part of writing as is using a pencil.  Later, as students advance, writing a thesis and subtopic sentences can become part of the prewriting organizer.

Figuring out how to start and how to conclude. Looking at that blank piece of paper can be daunting.  One solution is for a teacher or parent to brainstorm various ways to begin and end with the student, and to write those beginning sentences and ending sentences as options.  You might think, but the student is supposed to do the work himself.  Eventually, yes, but not when the student begins.  When you learned to walk, didn’t you have an adult right there to catch you when you stumbled, and to lift you up again?  When you learned to ride a bike, didn’t you have an adult running at your side to keep you balanced and to “launch” you?  Students need adults “launching” them in the writing process too.  With enough practice, students will gain the skills to start writing and to conclude on their own.  But at first, they need an adult to provide models of good writing.

Sticking to one main idea. Following organizers will keep students on course.  An adult should ask the student to read aloud his in-process work, and the adult should match the sentences with the organizer.  Students might not realize they have drifted off-course.  It’s important to discover off-topic information quickly, before students have invested too much time and too many sentences into information that needs to be deleted.

Using correct grammar, spelling and punctuation. One method to deal with these kinds of errors is to allow students to write without regard to them.  Then, after the compositions are finished, go back and help students fix some of them.  One time, focus on run-on sentences.  Another time focus on apostrophes.  If the student is expected to fix all his errors as he goes along, he will lose the flow of his writing and might never finish.  Another method to deal with grammar, spelling and punctuation errors is to give two grades—one for composition and one for conventions.  Or give one grade for composition only.

Taking time to revise and edit.  ADHD students are impulsive.  They tire quickly of activities where they need to sit still and focus.  Yet revising and editing are necessary steps to produce good writing.  One solution is to separate the revising process from the composing process.  Do composing today and revising tomorrow.  Do twenty minutes before recess and twenty minutes after.  Write post-it notes to students, identifying one problem for each student.   If Jimmy can’t identify run-ons, underline the run-ons he needs to fix and ignore the other problems.  If Mary can’t figure out when or how to use apostrophes, underline the words which might need them.  Help them start on the revision process so they needn’t start from scratch.  Not every piece of writing needs to be perfect.

Writing legibly. Allow students to use computers, laptops, iPads or other electronic devices to write school assignments.  Not only allow them, but teach students how to use these devices during writing classes.  Show them how to swipe a sentence and move it to a better location.  Show them how to look up spelling or synonyms.  Show them how to indent or double space or to do whatever helps them to write better.

Like all skill-based activities, writing well depends on practice.  If a teacher assigns one writing assignment a month or a semester, the student will not improve.  Yet, this is often the case since reading and marking student writing is time-consuming.  If your child is not assigned writing weekly, then you, as the parent, can assign it.  If you think you are not qualified, may I suggest you buy my writing instruction book, How to Write a 5th Grade (or Any Other Grade) Essay, available on Amazon.  Everything I’ve talked about here is included there but in more detail.

If you hope your child will attend college or professional school, he or she will need to be able to write.   Reading and writing are two of the most basic skills your child needs to do well in life.  Don’t let fear of writing (his or yours) handicap your child.

 

Imitate classic sentences to improve your writing

Do you want to improve the sentences you write?  One way to do that is to imitate classic sentences, according to Stanley Fish, author of How to Write a Sentence (2011).  A sentence form he recommends imitating is the additive (cumulative) sentence.  This form of writing seems spontaneous because it shifts back and forth, digresses, repeats, and loses itself in details—much like the speech of some people.

How do you recognize such a sentence?  Many are compound sentences, or if not compound, then containing compound subjects, predicates, and phrases.  They use coordinating conjunctions, especially “and,” “but” and “or.”  One word or idea is not more important than another.  They mostly use one- and two-syllable words.

Why would you want to use such sentences?

  • To show spontaneity, distractedness, and randomness of thought.
  • To write in a way which seems unplanned and lighthearted.
  • To create dialog which ambles from one thought to another.

Ernest Hemingway is one of the best known writers of additive sentences.  Here, for example, is one such sentence from A Farewell to Arms (1929):  “In the bed of the river there were pebbles and boulders, dry and white in the sun, and the water was clear and swiftly moving and blue in the channels.”

Where do you begin to imitate such a sentence?  One way is to identify its structural components.  It starts with 1) a prepositional phrase showing a general location; 2)that phrase is followed by  “there” plus the verb “to be” followed by two nouns acting as subjects; 3) they are followed by two adjectives connected by “and”; 4) they are followed by another prepositional phrase showing location; 5) “and” is followed by another noun acting as subject of the second clause; 6) then come three adjectives describing that noun; and 7) and another prepositional phrase related to the subject of the second clause ends the sentence.

Or and easier way is to substitute the words in Hemingway’s sentence with your own words.  That’s what I did to come up with the following three additive sentences:

  • Example 1: In the fur of the dog there are fleas and more fleas, jumping in the moonlight, and the dog scratches and twists and bleeds from the bites.
  • Example 2: In the driveway to the house there are drifts, blowing snow, cold and white in the storm, and the snow is thick and racing fast and scurrying over the driveway.
  • Example 3: On the test in Miss Mathers’ class, there are short answers and essays, some easy and some hard, and the students must think and decide quickly and write in their bluebooks.

If you practice creating enough sentences like these, using various additive forms, you will become good at it, and these kinds of sentences will occur naturally to you, expanding the sentence universe you can rely on.

(For a related topic, see a previous blog on Hemingway’s writing rules.)