How to start a narrative

Posted on May 14, 2024 | Leave a comment

How to start a good story today is much like how to start a good essay, though it’s different too.  Many good stories today begin without any background information.  They begin in the middle of the action and weave in whatever background information is necessary later.  For example,

“Duck, you fool.  They’ll see us.”  This beginning starts in the middle of action.  Better yet, it starts with dialog.  Do you want to know who the speaker and his companion are?  Do you want to know why they are hiding?  Do you want to know who is hunting them?  Will you continue reading?

The three-year-old waited under the dirty laundry in the closet just as Mom and he had practiced.  The noise had stopped, but he didn’t trust the silence either.  “Wait for me,” Mom had said.  So he waited.  Is this a game of hide and seek?  Or has something sinister happened to Mom?  Why did Mom have the child practice hiding?  Why did she tell him to wait for her?  Will you keep reading?

Compare those beginnings with this kind.

It was early morning when she boarded the school bus.  She took her assigned seat and looked around.  Yes, it was Monday, all right.  Everyone was sleeping or trying to.  This beginning lacks the energy of the previous two beginnings.  Do you want to know why she boarded the school bus?  Probably not because you already know.  She’s going to school.   Do you want to know why everyone is sleeping?  Probably not because it’s Monday and that’s the way it is on Mondays.  Will you keep reading?

Mrs. Miller put on her hat and spring coat and waited for the taxi.  It came on time.  She nodded to the driver.  “Twelve Maiden Lane.” She sat back, alone in the passenger section, and thought what she always thought, that this is the way Queen Elizabeth was pampered wherever she went.  Do we know why Mrs. Miller is taking a taxi?  Do we care?  How about her thought, comparing herself to Queen Elizabeth?  That’s a little more interesting.  Why does she think that?  Will you keep reading?

Should you start a narrative with a question?  Lots of students do, but such a beginning rarely draws in readers, especially if the reader knows the answer.  But sometimes it can work.

Oh, please, doctor, please tell me what it is?  Is it pneumonia?  Meningitis?  Is my baby going to be okay?  Why are you just standing there, doctor?  Please tell me.  This opening has several questions, each one more emotionally charged than the previous one.  It works because the thoughts are a form of action.  Why is the child sick?  Why is the parent so frantic?  Why is the doctor mute?  We don’t know what happened before.  We arrive in the crisis moment.  Will you keep reading?

In the past, writers began stories with exposition, that is, with background information.  Today that approach is out of style.  We want to jump right into the action.

If you tend to start narratives by giving background information, try this to start with action.  Move along until you find the inciting moment—the moment when the action begins.  Delete everything that comes before the inciting moment.  If it is necessary information, weave it in through dialog or thoughts—but not flashbacks.  Flashbacks interrupt the forward flow of your story.  Your narratives will be more dramatic and better read.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in backstory, dialog in writing, flow, Introductions, narrative writing

How to write a narrative essay

Posted on May 7, 2024 | Leave a comment

A narrative essay is a short story.  It has all the parts of a short story—a beginning, a middle, and an end.  But that doesn’t tell you how to begin or what to include.  Wouldn’t it be nice if there were some formula, some plan, that would help you get going?  Well, there is.  Here’s how: 

On your planning paper or computer screen, write the word “setting.” Now draw two small arrows from the end of “setting.”  Next to the top arrow write the word “place.”  After the word “place,” identify the location of your narrative essay.  It’s easier if you have only one place such as your math classroom, the soccer field or the airplane gate.  If you have two or more places, your essay will get complicated.  Since you are at the stage when you need a pattern to follow, keep things simple.  Identify one location only.

After the bottom arrow, write the words “time/day/season.” Identify when your story takes place.  Sometimes a general idea, like “morning” is enough.  If the day of the week or the season or temperature or climate is important to your story, identify them.  Usually, you will identify only one or two of these times.

Stories are about people or animals–living creatures, so identify characters: the people and animals important in your story. Sometimes that person will be you.  (Write “me.”)  Sometimes it will be named people.  Other times it will be unnamed people whose relationship is important such as the bus driver or the stray dog.  Keep your list short—maybe two or three characters.  The more characters you use, the more complicated your story will become.  Identify which character is the protagonist, the central character of your story.

Identify the point of view (POV) your story will have: first person (told by someone who is part of the story); or third person objective (told from the POV of a video taper of your story who does not know what people are thinking); or third person limited (told from the POV of someone who can hear the thinking of one or more of the characters).

Identify the problem to be solved (sometimes called the theme) in your story. Is it about a student forgetting her lunch?  Is it about your mother nagging you to do your homework?  Is it about an athlete breaking his leg running to first base?  Every story needs a problem for the main character to solve or to learn from.

Identify the major plot points in your story, the important happenings in your story. A story has to start somewhere.  That’s the first plot point.  Something has to happen to cause a problem.  That might be the same plot point (if you start in the middle of the action, which is a good idea) or it might be the second plot point if you include exposition.  Later, something or somethings have to happen to complicate the action and to head your characters toward the end, the last plot point.

Identify the mood you want to convey. Is your story frightening?  Funny?  Nostalgic?  Mysterious?  You need to know before you begin so you know what kind of vocabulary and sentences to use, what to highlight, and what to hide.

Now you can almost begin.  Read next week’s blog for how to start that first paragraph.

Leave a comment

Posted in English Writing Instruction, narratives

Revisiting eight ideas to improve your writing

Posted on April 9, 2024 | Leave a comment

In my past blog, I suggested eight ideas to improve your writing.  In my next paragraph, I will ignore those suggestions and write poorly.  See if you can find eight examples of poor writing in this next paragraph.

A reader contacted this blogger a few days ago.  She informed me that there were good ideas in my most recent blog, and moreover, she suspected this blogger could utilize that blog to compose another blog that contradicts the advice of the first blog, and thereby set up a challenge to locate the poor writing and to attract a multitude of readers like her who are puzzle aficionados.  I listened to my reader’s admonition, and this paragraph is my response.

Spoiler alert:  The following paragraphs expose the poor writing.  Are you ready?

  • “This blogger” draws attention to the writer of the blog in a way that the word “I” does not. As the writer of the blog, I need to refer to myself in the paragraph.  But I should choose an inconspicuous way to do that.

 

  • “She informed me” draws attention to the way she spoke which is unimportant. “She informed” is better written as “she said.”  “Said” is an inconspicuous word.

 

  • “There were” puts the subject later in the sentence. “There were good ideas” could be better written as “my blog contained good ideas.”

 

  • “Moreover” and “thereby” are transition words that interrupt the flow of the sentence. “Moreover” is better said as “and.” “Thereby” is better said not at all in this paragraph. It is not needed.

 

  • “Admonition” is a four-syllable word and “aficionados” is a six-syllable word. Both draw attention to themselves because many readers might not know what the words mean.  It’s better to stick to simpler vocabulary (“advice” and “fans”) in a blog meant for children as well as ESL students and adults.

 

  • The second sentence in the three-sentence paragraph is 59 words long—far too many words for readers trying to understand the writer’s message. The sentence should be broken down into three or four simpler sentences.

 

  • “She informed me that” introduces and indirect quote. Use direct quotes whenever possible so readers can hear for themselves the vocabulary, the tone, the grammar and the inferences of the speaker.

 

  • And lastly, the paragraph is five lines long.  Is that too long?  Maybe, maybe not.  It is the longest paragraph of this blog, so it might look long–and intimidating–to some readers.  This is especially true because it extends the width of the blog.  Yet because the second sentence is so long, the paragraph is hard to subdivide.

 

All these ideas about good writing are based on the fundamental rule of good writing:  Clarity is the most important characteristic of good writing.  If a word or sentence or paragraph is not clear to readers, they will not keep reading.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Leave a comment

Posted in "to be", blog writing, clarity, direct quotes, English Writing Instruction, how to write better, indirect quotes, rules for writing, said, Transitions, word choice

Eight simple ideas to improve your writing

Posted on April 2, 2024 | Leave a comment

Don’t start a sentence with there is, there was, there are, there were.  When you start this way, you start with a filler word (“there”), not with the subject. You also use a form of the linking verb “to be” which is the weakest verb you can use.  Eliminating “there is” forces you to put your subject before your predicate and to use a stronger verb.

Write short sentences.  Usually, the longer a sentence is, the more clauses it contains.  The more clauses in a sentence, the harder it is for the reader to keep the ideas straight.  Limit the number of clauses in a sentence by limiting the number of words.

Use “said,” not “spoke,” “told,” “asserted,” “claimed,” and other words which mean “said.”  “Said” is an inconspicuous word which does not draw attention to itself.  As a writer, you should be highlighting what was said, not how it was said.

Use everyday but specific vocabulary.  Highfalutin words distance writers from many would-be readers.  If you are quoting a person who uses SAT words generously, repeat his language.  But keep your own words inconspicuous, so the focus is on your message, not on your  vocabulary.

Use short transition words.  “And,” “also,” “but,” “later,” and “then” are better choices than “additionally,” “furthermore,” “however,” and “subsequently.”  Longer transition words draw attention to themselves as words, so they take the reader’s attention away from the thoughts of the text.  They interrupt the flow.  Use modest one- and two-syllable transitions.

Keep paragraphs short.  Books written 100 or 200 years ago contain long, deadly paragraphs.  More recently written books contain shorter paragraphs with more white space on the page.  That white space makes the writing look friendly and nonthreatening.  To increase the white space, use smaller paragraphs.

Use dialog—direct quotes, not indirect quotes.  With indirect quotes, the author is distilling the original quotes.  Readers want to hear the original quotes so they can make up their minds as to what is important. Readers want to hear the tone of voice, the interruptions, the pauses, the inferences, and the vocabulary of the speakers.  Readers want to be there.

Keep yourself invisible unless you are writing a first-person account, or you are a character in your narrative.  Readers should not be aware someone wrote the words they are reading.  They should be aware of the information.  But if you do need to insert yourself into the writing, say “I,” not “this reporter” or “this listener.”

You might say, “But I know writers who ignore these ideas all the time.”  I do too.  Once you reach the stature of a Tracy Kidder or Ian McEwan, you can do what you want.  But until you do, you’re more likely to be read and understood if you follow these suggestions.

****

Need a writing tutor?  Contact me through this website.  I tutor writers from second grade through high school, in the US and overseas.

Leave a comment

Posted in "to be", dialog in writing, said, Transitions, verb choice, white space, word choice, writing tips

Tagged

Show, Don’t Tell

Posted on March 27, 2024 | Leave a comment

Do you show, not tell?

I just finished reading a murder mystery from the 1930s which told outcomes before showing them.  The result was that my enjoyment of the book diminished.  For example:

  • A police detective is chasing a bad guy and seems to have him trapped. The author writes, “Then the end came, far more quickly than [the detective] had anticipated.”  The author follows up these words with details explaining how the detective and bad guy ended that scene.

Why is this bad story telling?  Ideally, an author wants the reader to share the emotions of the protagonist—in this case the detective.  Ideally, readers should experience the detective’s fear that the bad guy will shoot him, the detective’s fear that he will lose his footing on the mountainside and plunge to his death, the detective’s fear that the bad guy will cleverly escape.

In the real world, the detective wouldn’t know the end was near.  He hopes it is near, but many things could go awry.  Until he captures the bad guy, the detective—and we, the readers—should stay in suspense.  But by writing “then the end came,” the author lessens our suspense and our enjoyment of the novel.

  • Another time, the author ends a chapter with two policemen talking about a suspect. One wonders aloud what a suspect will say during an upcoming interview.  The other policeman says the suspect probably won’t say much.  “But he was wrong,” the author adds.

By adding, “But he was wrong,” the author tells us before he shows us.  The author’s intent is to add suspense, and he does.  Readers need to keep reading to find out why “he was wrong.” But the author lets readers know what the policemen do not yet know, so our emotions are not heightened as the police doing the subsequent interview.

Good novels lure readers into make-believe worlds, eliciting in us emotions as if we are really there.  If we are really there, we shouldn’t know what will happen next any more than we know what will happen next in our real world.

In both of these examples, the author is interjecting himself into the story.  He acts like a puppet master who stops the puppets’ action, reveals himself as the one pulling their strings, and talks directly to the audience.  Then he goes on with the puppet show.  The magic is dispelled.

Another example of an author interjecting himself is when an author uses the word “suddenly” at the start of a sentence.  Suddenly lightning flashed.  Suddenly the child fell off the swing.  Suddenly the two cars crashed.  When lightning flashes, do we know it will happen before it happens?  When a child falls off a swing, do we know she will fall before she falls?  When two cars crash, do we know they will crash before they crash?  Not in real life.

By using the word “suddenly,” an author alerts readers that something unusual is about to happen.  Why not just let it happen, so that we are as surprised as the characters in the story?  Our emotional response will be stronger than if we are alerted ahead of time with the word “suddenly.”

Show, don’t tell.

Leave a comment

Posted in author inserts self in story, show don't tell, using suddenly