Category Archives: direct quotes

More on how to incorporate quotations into text

In my last blog, I discussed how to incorporate a simple direct quotation into a student text, using a hamburger visual.

Let’s try a more difficult quotation.

Suppose you are writing about hurricanes.   You are trying to explain how wind sheer prevents a hurricane from growing stronger.  You have found a good quote to explain what wind sheer does to a hurricane.

Start with your text in your own words:  “Wind sheer prevents a hurricane from growing stronger.”

Next (the top bun), you introduce who said the direct quote and why it is worth quoting:  “Adam Sobel, an atmospheric scientist and director of the Initiative on Extreme Weather and Climate at Columbia University, explains wind sheer as. . .”

Now (the hamburger), you write the quote:  “different winds at different altitudes were keeping it from standing upright.”

Uh oh.  A problem—actually two problems.  Your text concerns hurricanes in general, but Sobel is describing Hurricane Henri in particular.  You need to remove the word “it” (meaning a particular hurricane) and replace it with the word “hurricanes” (meaning hurricanes in general.)  Since you are changing the quote slightly, you need to indicate that by putting your substitution in brackets.  The revised quote becomes, “different winds at different altitudes were keeping [hurricanes] from standing upright.”

But a second problem remains.  The past tense helping verb “were” refers to Hurricane Henri, but your text concerns hurricanes in general.  For proper grammar, you could change the verb “were keeping” into the gerund “keeping.”  The revised quote becomes “different winds at different altitudes. . .keeping [hurricanes] from standing upright.”  You need the ellipses because the helping verb is omitted.

Last (the bottom bun), you explain why you think this quote is relevant to your text in your own words.  “Sobel’s explanation creates a visual image of winds tilting a storm’s clouds, making them less organized than in an upright storm.”

Now put it all together:

Wind sheer prevents a hurricane from growing stronger.  As Adam Sobel, an atmospheric scientist and director of the Initiative on Extreme Weather and Climate at Columbia University, explains, wind sheer is “different winds at different altitudes. . .keeping [hurricanes] from standing upright.”  Sobel’s explanation creates a visual image of winds tilting a storm’s clouds, making them less organized than in an upright storm.

To recap:

  • To use a direct quotation, you must put it in context by identifying who made the direct quote and why it is relevant in the context you are using it.
  • The transition from your introductory information to the quotation must use correct grammar.
  • Sometimes words of the direct quote must be left out or changed slightly (for example, from singular to plural, from one verb tense to another, from one pronoun to another).
  • Any change in the direct quote must be shown either with ellipses or with brackets.
  • If several changes must be made, paraphrasing might be a better alternative.

How to incorporate direct quotations into text

Incorporating direct quotes into their own writing can be difficult for students.  They may not have read the kind of writing—academic, scientific—which routinely uses direct quotes, so they are unfamiliar with this type writing.  And they may not have been taught it explicitly—with lessons, examples, and practice.

If so, where should a teacher begin to teach how to incorporate quotations?

One way is with the image of a hamburger in a bun.  The hamburger stands for the direct quote, and the top and bottom buns stand for the “before” and “after” information that is also needed.

The top part of the bun is where you introduce the direct quote by explaining who the quote comes from and why the quote is worth quoting.  

For example, suppose you write about democracy, and you want to quote Abraham Lincoln’s definition.  You could introduce your quote by writing, “Abraham Lincoln defined democracy in his Gettysburg Address as. . .”

The hamburger part of the image is the direct quote itself: “government of the people, by the people and for the people.”  You don’t need to quote a whole sentence—just the part which meets your needs.  You might need to rewrite your introductory information to make it work grammatically with your quote.  You don’t introduce the quotation by saying, “It says,” or “Here it is,” or “The quote is.”

For example, you don’t say, “Abraham Lincoln defined democracy.  He said, ‘government of the people, by the people and for the people.’”  This example is not good because the writer does not transition into Lincoln’s quote.  A better way is, “Abraham Lincoln defined democracy.  He said democracy is ‘government of the people, by the people and for the people.’”  Even better is using the word “as” to replace “He said democracy is.”  One word instead of four.

The bottom part of the bun is your understanding of the quote and why you consider it relevant.  A good example is “This definition is deceptively simple yet eloquent.”

The finished quotation is “Abraham Lincoln defined democracy in his Gettysburg Address as ‘government of the people, by the people and for the people.’  This definition is deceptively simple yet eloquent.”

To recap:

  • To use a direct quotation, you must put it in context by identifying who made the direct quote and why it is relevant in the context you are using it.
  • The transition from your introductory information to the quotation must use correct grammar.
  • Sometimes words of the direct quote must be left out or changed slightly (for example, from singular to plural, from one verb tense to another, from one pronoun to another).
  • Any change in the direct quote must be shown either with ellipses or with brackets.
  • If several changes must be made, paraphrasing might be a better alternative.

Rules Hemingway wrote by

Did you watch the new PBS documentary on Ernest Hemingway which premiered on Monday?  If so, you heard Hemingway say “the best rules I ever learned for the business of writing” came from the Kansas City Star stylebook. He reported for the Star 1917 to 1918.

Detective with a magnifying glass inspecting a newspaper.Here are some of those rules:

  • Use short sentences.
  • Use short first paragraphs.
  • Use vigorous English.  [Use active verbs.]
  • Be positive, not negative.
  • Never use old slang.  Slang, to be enjoyable, must be fresh.
  • Watch your sequence of tenses.  [Be consistent.]
  • Don’t split verbs.  [Put adverbs before a verb phrase.]
  • Be careful of the word “also.”  “Also” modifies the word it follows, not the word it precedes.
  • Be careful of the word “only.”  “He only had $10” means that he alone had $10.  “He had only $10” means $10 was all the cash he had.
  • Don’t split infinitives.
  • Avoid using adjectives, especially extravagant ones.
  • Use “none is,” not “none are.”
  • Animals should be referred to with the neuter gender unless the animal is a pet with a name.
  • Break into a long direct quote early in the quote to identify the speaker.
  • Avoid expressions from a foreign language.
  • Collective nouns take singular verbs.

Never start a direct quote with “He said”

When you are interviewing someone, and you want to quote that person directly, how should you identify who is talking?  Compare these examples:

  • Mrs. Smith said that I might want to avoid the back yard because  the dog poops there.
  • Mrs. Smith said, “You might want to avoid the backyard.  That’s where the dog poops.”
  • “You might want to avoid the back yard. That’s where the dog poops,” said Mrs. Smith.
  • “You might want to avoid the backyard,” Mrs. Smith said. “That’s where the dog poops.”

Each of the examples offers the same information, yet one excels.  Let’s examine them individually to find out why.

  • Because what is said is more important than who says it, the first and second examples are not as good as the third and fourth examples. But the first example has another problem:  it uses an indirect quotation when a direct quotation is livelier.  The reader would prefer to hear the exact words of the person being interviewed, providing that person is not hemming and hawing.
  • The second example improves on the first example because it replaces the indirect quotation with a direct quotation.  But it still starts with the least interesting information, who is speaking.
  • The third example is better than the first two because it uses direct quotes to start.  However, the reader needs to wait until the completion of the quote before knowing who is speaking.  Since there are two sentences, it makes sense to identify the speaker at the end of the first sentence.
  • The fourth example identifies the speaker after the first part of the direct quote, the correct location to do so. And it directly quotes the speaker.  This example wins.

So, to recap, use direct quotes rather than indirect quotes when the quotation is lively and dramatic, or when it shows off the speaker’s personality or diction.  Start with the direct quote, but pause either at the end of the first sentence or at a natural spot in the first sentence to identify the speaker.

 

4 reasons to use direct quotes

Should you use direct quotes in writing both fiction and nonfiction in which there are people?  Definitely!

Below are examples from Akin by Emma Donoghue.  Akin is a novel about a 79-year-old former professor spending time with an 11-year-old street kid.  Part of the delight of the book is its dialog, especially the contrast between the two people’s world views reflected in their way of speaking.

So, why to use direct quotes? 

First, direct quotes show inflections, that is, how a speaker changes a word’s emphasis depending on verb tense, number, prefixes and suffixes and a use of modifiers.  Here, for example, the old man says,

“You must know singers with ludicrous stage names?  Like, ah 50 Cents.”

“50 Cent,” Michael said, pained.  “And it’s Ludacris.”

Here’s another example, with the old man asking the boy,

“Do you skateboard?”

“Skate.”

“Oh, you prefer skating.  Ice or roller?”

“It’s called skating, dude.”

Second, direct quotes show regionalisms, ages, education, socioeconomic and other differences.  For example, the boy explains that his skateboard was stolen.

“They skated right past, dissing me.  Grandma said”—Michael quoted—“’This is a test from the Lord, are you going to hold on to your wrath?  Are you going to pass the test?’”

Here is another.  The boy asks,

“Are you a atheist?”

Noah corrected him:  “An atheist.”

“That’s what I said.”

“It’s an, rather than a, when it’s followed by a vowel:  an atheist.”

“Like you’re an asshole.”

Third, direct quotes show how a person puts a sentence together—using standard English or some other way.  The older man, Noah, often uses long and complex sentences, yet adjusts his way of speaking so the boy will better understand him.  The boy, on the other hand, uses really short sentences or phrases without concern for grammar.  For example, the boy tells of his Uncle Cody:

“Cody used to smoke till I got him Juuling.”

“What-ing?”

“Vapes, you know?  E-cigs?”

In another example, Michael sees a bunch of balloons tied to the front railing of a house.  He asks,”

“Did somebody get offed here?”

Fourth, direct quotes reveal personality.  From the few quotes I’ve just used, you can see that Noah, is an academic from an educated middle class background and out-of-touch with children, yet willing, even eager, to know the boy. Michael is more tentative about knowing Noah, preferring the safety of his phone.  He uses the language of the street as an intentional emotional barrier between himself and Noah.

I recommend you read Akin.  I suspect you too will delight in the dialog, just part of the treat of this well written novel.