Category Archives: active verbs

What to revise to improve writing

Posted on January 6, 2025 | Leave a comment

Students often think revising means editing, that is, making small changes. Adding an apostrophe or improving spelling is not revising.  Revising means making significant improvements to writing.  Revising is the process by which okay writing becomes great.

So what exactly is revising?  Here are some examples, though there are many more.

Change weak (nonspecific) verbs to specific verbs.  If possible rewrite the verb to be (is, are, was, were) and come, go, give, take, get, start, put, look, and see, but not say or said.

  • I got tired raking leaves, so I came inside and took a nap.  This becomes, After I tired from raking, I snuggled on my bed and napped.

After weak verbs, find infinitives or nouns that can be turned into strong verbs.

  • When the car started to spin, Mom took her foot off the gas pedal. This becomes, When the car spun, Mom released the gas pedal.

Use active, not passive verbs.

  • The apple was eaten by Mary. This becomes, Mary ate the apple.

Change long nouns (e.g., encouragement, contamination, habitation) to verbs.

  • Use moderation in your dietary habits. This becomes Moderate your diet.

Combine frequent small sentences (fewer than 10 words) to add sophistication to writing.

  • That’s my brother. His name is Akhil.  He is seven.  He can write a two-wheeler.  This becomes My seven-year-old brother, Akhil, can ride a two-wheeler.

Delete a sentence with just one bit of new information and put that information in another sentence to eliminate wordiness.

  • The baby fell out of the carriage. The carriage rolled down the hill.  This becomes, The baby fell out of the carriage which rolled down the hill.

Combine sentences to eliminate wordiness.

  • My uncle was wounded playing football. He played for the University of Georgia twenty years ago. He played before I was born.  This becomes, My uncle broke his leg playing football for the University of Georgia twenty years ago, before I was born.

Identify the sentence structures used (simple, compound, complex and compound-complex).  Rewrite the sentences to create more complicated simple sentences and easy-to-understand complex sentences, and to eliminate most compound sentences.

  • I watched the Rose Bowl Parade on TV, and I enjoyed it. I could not believe the floats!  They were covered with flowers, seeds, leaves, and other living things.  I hope, when I am older, to see the parade in person.  This becomes, I enjoyed watching the Rose Bowl Parade on TV.  Flowers, seeds, leaves and other living things covered the floats.  Someday, I hope to see that unbelievable parade in person.

Limit the number of dependent clauses in sentences to two.

  • The resort where we vacationed used to be a private club that attracted millionaires in the 19th century who arrived by train before wealthy people had air conditioning. This becomes, We vacationed at a resort that used to be a private club for millionaires.  In the 19th century, wealthy people arrived there by train.  They wanted to escape the heat in an era before air conditioning.

Change first words of sentences to add variety. 

  • See previous changes.

Count the number of words in each sentence.  Average them.  Aim for an average of 14 to 18 words with some longer and some shorter.  If the average is 10 or below, increase the number of words per sentence.  If the average is 20 or above, decrease the number of words per sentence.  Don’t count the number of words per sentence until you have made other changes or you will need to recount.

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Posted in "to be", active verbs, how to write better, number of words per sentence, passive verbs, revising first drafts, revising sentence length, sentence structure, verb choice, voice, writing tips

Six ways to improve writing anything

Posted on October 13, 2021 | Leave a comment

Here are six writing practices to make your writing better:

  • Make your sentences clear during a first read, so the reader doesn’t say, “Huh?”  A reader shouldn’t need to backtrack to figure out what you’re trying to say.
  • Use varied sentence structure.  Subject—verb—direct object.  Prepositional phrase—adjective—subject—verb—adverb.  Gerund—prepositional phrase—verb—adjective.  Subject—verb—direct object—appositive.  So many combinations exist.  Why bore readers with the same old same old?
  • Keep subjects and verbs near each other.  A thought which is interrupted by prepositional phrases, clauses and other grammatical constructions leads to unclear reading.  (The previous sentence’s subject is “thought.” Its verb comes twelve words later.  This is an example of what not to do.)
  • Eliminate most adverbs, especially those ending with -ly.  Instead, choose strong verbs, so an adverb is not needed.
  • Eliminate repeated words unless you are using them for emphasis.  Some repeated words I see my students use are “start,” “then,” “so,” “like,” and “really.”  Identify your repeated words, and see if you need them.
  • Use good grammar, but don’t strive for perfect grammar.  Writing today is more conversational than in the past.  And more informal.  (Did you notice that that last “sentence” is not a sentence at all but a fragment?)  You can begin sentences with “and” and “but.”  You can use “you” instead of “he” or “she” or “one.”

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Posted in active verbs, adverbs, clarity, English Writing Instruction, fragments, grammar, lack of appeal to readers, lockstep sentence patterns, needless words, sentence structure

Coherence, the most important element in writing

Posted on December 13, 2020 | Leave a comment

Writing well requires following certain steps in sequence:

  • Narrowing your topic
  • Organizing your information, including writing an overarching topic sentence or thesis and subtopic sentences or plot lines
  • Writing a first draft
  • Revising, revising, revising
  • Editing

Once your first draft is complete, revising becomes most important.  So many tasks comprise revising—checking for complete sentences, tightening wordiness, analyzing ideas for logic, honing vocabulary, fixing grammar errors, adding figures of speech and style.  Students wonder where to begin.

Begin with coherence, the most important element of writing.  Coherence means making sure all your sentences make sense and flow from one to another.  Coherence means making sure your readers understand what you mean—easily, at first read, without an interpreter.

How do you do that?  Some ways include:

  • Make sure every sentence in the body paragraphs supports the thesis. If you use an anecdote, make sure it is an example of the ideas in the thesis.  If you use a simile or metaphor, make sure it fits with the topic.  If the topic is igneous rock, for example, the simile “as hot as the steam from a steam boat” is off topic, whereas “as hot as a lava lake” is on topic.
  • If you use numbers (three kinds of rocks, five members of my family, one favorite memory), check that you have named all the numbers and no more.
  • Use logical transitions. “Because” means something causes something else.  Make sure you have named a cause and an effect if you use “because.”  “Finally” means the last one in a series or the last point.  If you have only two or three points, you shouldn’t use “finally.” You should use “secondly,” or “next,” or “third.”
  • If you use a pronoun, make sure you have named the noun the pronoun refers back to. And make sure you have named that noun before you use the pronoun (not “When she fell, Mary broke her arm,” but “When Mary fell, she broke her arm.”  If you use “this,” make sure your reader can know in a word or phrase what “this” refers to.  If “this” is vague or complicated, add a noun after “this” (this situation, this erosion, this loss of interest).  If you have two women talking, make sure if you use “she,” the reader knows which one you are referring to.  Otherwise, use her name or title or position.
  • Check that your sentences are complete thoughts–not fragments or run-ons.  Make sure your complex sentences contain no more than two dependent clauses so readers needn’t hold multiple ideas in their minds at once.  Check that your sentences vary in length, with most more than ten and fewer than 20 words.
  • Change your weak, vapid verbs to active, dynamic verbs.  Eliminate the verb “to be” and passive voice verbs.

If what you write lacks coherence, no matter how specific the vocabulary, no matter how beautiful the description, no matter how lofty your aim, your writing will flop.  Your writing must make sense to a reader without you standing at her elbow explaining, “Well, what I mean is. . .”

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Posted in "to be", active verbs, because, clarity, coherence, complex sentence, English Writing Instruction, flow, good writing v. bad writing, metaphors, number of words per sentence, organizing information, passive verbs, pronouns, readability, revising first drafts, run-ons, similes, thesis, Transitions, word choice

What is a strong verb?

Posted on November 15, 2020 | Leave a comment

The surest way to improve writing is to write strong verbs.  But what are they?

  • verbs which show specific actions
  • verbs with one unambiguous meaning
  • verbs of Anglo-Saxon origin
  • verbs of one or two syllables
  • verbs stated in the active voice

The surest way to weaken writing is to write weak verbs.  What are they?

  • linking verbs, especially forms of the verb “to be”
  • verbs with multiple meanings
  • verbs with general, nonspecific meanings
  • three-, four-, and five-syllable verbs of Latin origin
  • verbs stated in the passive voice

Take the quiz to see if you can spot the strong verb.

1a.  The Senator waited for the election returns.
1b.  The Senator sweated out the election returns.
1c.  The Senator listened for the election returns.

2a.  Grandma looked peaceful sleeping in her rocker.
2b.  Grandma slept in her rocker.
2c.  Grandma giggled while sleeping in her rocker.

3a.  The toddler squealed while opening his gift.
3b.  The toddler was excited while opening his gift.
3c.  The toddler cried out while opening his gift.

4a.  The coffee burned my tongue.
4b.  The coffee scalded my tongue.
4c.  The coffee hurt my tongue.

5a.  I was startled when the cat appeared.
5b.  I was surprised when the cat appeared.
5c.  I leapt when the cat appeared.

Answers:

1b.  “Sweated out” is more specific.

2c.  “Giggled” is an action.

3c.  “Squealed” is more specific.

4b.  “Scalded is more specific.

5c.  “Leapt” is an active voice verb.

 

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Posted in "to be", active verbs, English Writing Instruction, verb choice

George Orwell’s six rules of writing

Posted on April 18, 2020 | Leave a comment

George Orwell, author of Nineteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm, published an essay in 1946 called “Politics and the English Language.”  In it he offers six rules for better writing.  I reproduce them here in Orwell’s own words.

1.  Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

2.  Never use a long word where a short one will do.

3.  If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

4.  Never use the passive where you can use the active.

5.  Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

6.  Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

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Posted in active verbs, Figures of speech, George Orwell's six rules of writing, metaphors, passive verbs, similes