Category Archives: essay writing

Ways AI can grade student writing

High school students complain about how slowly they receive their graded tests from teachers, especially written work.  Essays in particular are slow to be returned.  Weeks—sometimes even a month—will pass before a teacher hands back a graded essay to a student.

That is changing, or it could be, if teachers use an automated essay grading system (AEG).  Artificial intelligence (AI) embedded in software available online can do grading lickety-split almost as well as teachers can.  Some widely-used AEG systems include: 

The E-rater® (ETS).  This software is used to grade standardized tests like the GRE and GMAT. According to the E-rater website, this software uses AI and Natural Language Processing (NLP) to evaluate:

  • “content analysis based on vocabulary measures
  • “lexical complexity/diction
  • “proportion of grammar, usage and mechanics errors
  • “proportion of style comments
  • “organization and development scores
  • “rewarding idiomatic phraseology.”

IntelliMetric™.  This software evaluates over 400 features for a comprehensive analysis.  According to the IntelliMetric website, this product can score open-ended questions and give students immediate feedback.  It does this by “learning” responses made by experts and applying them to student work.  IntelliMetric software considers organization, development of ideas, sentence structure, style, conventions and coherence.

Intelligent Essay Assessor (IEA): This software uses Latent Semantic Analysis (LSA) to evaluate semantic content and meaning. It compares student written essays to pre-scored essays written by experts.  The scores that student essays earn when evaluated with this software compare to the scores human evaluators would give the essays, according to the IEA website.

PEG (Project Essay Grade): This software identifies patterns in a student’s writing (use of prepositional phrases, word count, and punctuation, for example) and correlates those features with complexity, fluency and mastery of conventions found in good writing.  According to the PEG website, PEG focuses on six traits of writing, including organization, style, development of ideas, word choice, sentence fluency, and conventions. All this is done using technology:  Latent Semantic Analysis (LSA), Latent Dirichlet Allocation (LDA), and large language models (LLMs).

Virtual Writing Tutor: This free online software can find grammar and spelling errors in student work.  It can also link you to an online tutor.

SmartMarq: Teachers can list their own criteria for evaluating student work, feed it into SmartMarq’s software, and have the software evaluate student work.  The evaluations are customized to the teacher’s criteria.

In reading the websites of the automated essay grading systems discussed above, I found one problem over and over.  The websites themselves seem not to have been evaluated for their readability. If you’re a computer expert, the words and abbreviations probably makes sense.  But based on my own trouble understanding these websites, I wonder if they make sense to English teachers who are teaching students to use standard English.

 

In an essay, which comes first: the hook or the thesis?

An eighth grader asked me for help writing a school-assigned essay.  Her teacher had given the class a fill-in-the-blanks organizer.  It was incredibly detailed.  In the introduction area was a blank with the word “hook,” and below it another blank with the word “thesis.”  For each of the two body paragraph areas were the words “citation, “explanation,” “citation,” and “explanation.”  At the end was the word “conclusion.”

I read the thesis the student had chosen which sounded okay.  Then I read the hook.  It was an unrelated quotation.  I pointed out to the student that the hook seemed to have nothing to do with the thesis.  “Huh?” she responded, and then explained at length how the hook was related to the thesis.  She looked at me expectantly.

“I don’t buy it,” I said.

I asked her what she had written first, the hook quotation or the thesis.  “The hook,” she said.

Of course.  This student was making three mistakes that I see over and over in student essays.

First, she did not write the thesis first.  In an essay, the most important sentence is the thesis.  That is the first sentence to write. Every other sentence needs to support the ideas in that thesis sentence.  If you don’t know what ideas are in the thesis, how can you write about them?

Second, she wrote the hook first, thinking (as her teachers may have told her) that the hook is where the essay begins.  The hook is where the reader begins reading an essay.  But it is not where the writer begins writing an essay. A good essay is thought though and written out of order.  The proper sequence in which to write an essay (after you have organized it) is

  1. Thesis, first;
  2. body paragraph topic sentences, second;
  3. detail sentences in the body paragraphs, third. These sentences back up the body paragraph topic sentences which in turn back up the thesis;
  4. introduction, fourth, including the hook if there is one; and
  5. conclusion, last.

The third mistake my student made was perhaps the most serious of all:  she didn’t recognize that her chosen hook did not introduce the ideas of her thesis.  She thought that her hook was so clever (and it was) that it didn’t matter if it was related to the ideas of her thesis.  It does matter.

Over and over, I work with students who focus on the structure of an essay rather than the substance of the essay.  Their essays are like Academy Award winning actresses in gorgeous gowns, sparkling jewelry, and splendid coifs whose speeches are either hollow or off-topic.

I asked my student to rewrite her hook.  She did because she wants a good grade, and I’m a teacher, so I probably know what I am advising her.  But I wonder if she understands that her original hook was irrelevant to the main idea of her essay.

 

Looking for a writing teacher for your child?  Contact me through this website.  I currently teach students in four states and one other country.

One easy way to write a persuasive essay introduction

Suppose you are assigned to write a persuasive essay.  You don’t know how to begin.  Does a template for the introduction to a persuasive essay exist?  Is there  a way that works almost all the time?

Yes.

Five steps for a persuasive essay graphic

Let’s try a few examples.

  • Suppose a fifth grader wants to write a persuasive essay showing that soccer is a good sport for kids. She writes a thesis:  “Soccer is a great sport for kids to play because it strengthens muscles, teaches teamwork, and teaches how to accept defeat.”  Now she sets that aside for a moment.
  • Next, she writes a general sentence about soccer: “When my grandmother was a kid, none of her friends played soccer.”
  • She continues to write about soccer, heading toward her thesis idea: “Why?  Hardly any soccer teams for kids existed then.  There were baseball teams and basketball teams and football teams, but there were hardly any youth soccer teams.”
  • She writes a transition sentence from soccer in the past to soccer today: “Nowadays, almost every city or town in the US has soccer teams for kids.”
  • She goes back to the main idea sentence she set aside, and she moves it to this spot: “Soccer is a great sport for kids to play because it strengthens muscles, teaches teamwork, and teaches how to accept defeat.”

Here is her finished introduction:

When my grandmother was a kid, none of her friends played soccer.  Why?  Hardly any soccer teams for kids existed then.  There were baseball teams and basketball teams and football teams, but there were hardly any youth soccer teams.  Nowadays, almost every city or town in the US has soccer teams for kids.  Soccer is a great sport for kids to play because it strengthens muscles, teaches teamwork, and teaches how to accept defeat.

Here is another essay introduction for that same main idea:

  • My friend, Mario, says baseball is a better sport than soccer for kids.girl kicking soccer ball
  • My other friend, Julio, says football is better than soccer for kids.
  • My sister, Emma, who is tall, says basketball is better than soccer for kids.
  • I think they are all wrong.
  • Soccer is a great sport for kids to play because it strengthens muscles, teaches teamwork, and teaches how to accept defeat.

Here is a third possible introduction written at a high school level:

  • Furia by Y.S. Mendez is a novel about a teenage girl from Argentina who wants to play professional soccer.
  • But Camilla is growing too old to be thinking of soccer, according to her father who thinks adult soccer is for men only.
  • He thinks she should be thinking about boyfriends, especially about a rich local boy who plays professional soccer.
  • But Camilla cannot give up her dream to play soccer as an adult.  And why should she?
  • Soccer is a great sport for young adults to play because it strengthens muscles, teaches teamwork, and teaches how to accept defeat.

Notice that each of these three introductions uses the word “soccer” in the first sentence, alerting the reader that the essay will be about the topic of soccer.

All three introductions start out with general ideas:  the first one, that kids in the US didn’t play soccer years ago; the second one, that someone thinks a particular sport is better than soccer; and the third one, that a novel focuses on a girl who wants to play soccer.  Each first sentence idea is developed in the next two sentences.  In the fourth sentence, the focus shifts and links to the main idea (thesis) in the fifth sentence.

This is a pattern you can use to write almost any introduction to a persuasive essay.  You don’t need to start from scratch each time you write, wondering how to begin.  You can use the steps above, fill in the ideas, and write a satisfactory—maybe even great—essay introduction.

For more ideas on how to write, read my book How to Write a 5th Grade (or any other grade) Essay.  Or contact me for tutoring lessons.  I am now scheduling summer and fall classes.

What comes first, the idea or the citation?

When you plan a vacation, what do you do first?  Do you decide where to go—to the beach, to a Broadway play, to Graceland—or do you pack your skies?

Likewise, when you are given a topic to write about by your teacher—for example, Who is responsible for the deaths of Romeo and Juliet?—what do you do first?  Do you consider which characters might be responsible?  Or do you search for a citation—any citation—and work backward from the citation to a person responsible?

I suspect most ninth grade ELA teachers expect their students to start by thoughtfully considering who might be responsible for Romeo’s and Juliet’s deaths.  Could it be impetuous Romeo who cannot wait to have sex with Juliet?  Could it be Juliet’s father, who is forcing Juliet to marry Paris against her will?  Could it be hotheaded Tybalt, who starts a sword fight which leads to Romeo being banished?

I suspect most ninth grade ELA teachers do not want their students to read a given source material, find a good quote, and base their whole essay on that one quote.

But last week, a ninth grader I tutor, instead of considering who might be most responsible for Romeo’s and Juliet’s deaths, started organizing his essay by searching the sources his teacher supplied for words which said someone—anyone—is responsible.  Then he based his essay on that information which he cited.

In discussing my student’s approach, I learned my student really thought that to write an essay using citations he should start with a citation (or in his case, three citations) and go backwards in search of a thesis that would incorporate those three citations.  As a result, his thesis was three-pronged and vacuous.  His essay did not contain a central, controlling idea.

What happened here?

  • Did his teacher think a previous teacher taught him how to write using citations? Did she think she didn’t need to teach that all over again?
  • Did his teacher think she didn’t need to sequence the process of writing an essay using citations? Did she think that of course the student would know to start with the idea and then find supporting information?
  • Did my student miss the main idea of using citations, that they back up—support—prove—ideas?
  • Was my student taking the lazy way out—or so he thought—by finding a citation first?

Whatever.  From this experience, I learned that

  • Teaching how to use citations begins with why we use citations—to have outside, often expert sources back up our ideas.
  • Teaching how to write an essay using citations is necessary even if other teachers have already taught the process.
  • Students need to practice using citations over and over until they get it. Writing one essay in eighth grade and another in ninth grade is not enough.
  • Students must have an idea first before looking for experts to back it up.
  • Teachers need to say that starting with a citation and then backtracking to an idea or a thesis will probably lead to a weak, poorly written essay and a low grade.

 

 

Three examples of effective use of the word “I” in essay writing

In a recent blog, I wrote about how the use of the pronoun “I,” once frowned upon, is now widely accepted in essay writing.  Here are three effective examples of writers using “I”:

  • “I share the concerns of other city workers that the return to office is too sudden. . .” [The New York Times, September 15, 2021] Jennifer Gavel, who has been working from home during the pandemic, here expresses her frustration with a mandate that city workers in New York must return to the office.  Because she is a city worker, using “I” strengthens her argument.  She is an insider giving voice to a concern of her colleagues.

 

  • “Not everyone observes this holiday [Yom Kippur], of course. But in its practices, I believe there is wisdom that can help all of us.” [The New York Times, September 15, 2021]  The writer, Rabbi David Wolpe of Los Angeles, is in a position because of his training and experience to know about Yom Kippur and to explore its nuances.  Could he have left out “I believe” and still have written an effective essay.   Yes.  But is it natural for him to include himself in this essay?  Yes, especially since he begins and ends the essay with an anecdote about a friend.

 

  • “I didn’t understand what I was seeing but I knew it was important, and came to understand it had to do with loyalty and grief. And of course I remember it now because that is what I am feeling toward 9/11.” [The Wall Street Journal, September 9, 2021]  Columnist Peggy Noonan here refers to a childhood incident, something she witnessed and later recalled as the anniversary of September 11, 2001, approached.  She could have written about grief in the abstract, but her personal memory is a more moving introduction to her column.