Monthly Archives: September 2017

The five-paragraph essay is an obstacle to learning

The five-paragraph essay is a form of convergent thought.  It encourages the writer to fit information into a formula:  an introduction stating a main idea and sometimes naming three supporting points; three body  paragraphs, one for each point; and a conclusion renaming the main idea and three points.

The five-paragraph essay discourages writers from exploring new ideas.  Instead, it encourages writers to stick with what they already know.

For example, a student writer might choose for an essay topic an uncontroversial idea, such as that smoking is bad for health.  The writer might choose as the three points 1) smoking destroys lungs, 2) smoking leads to diseases like lung cancer, and 3) smoking leads to facial wrinkles.  But what if the writer thinks, wait a minute, wrinkles aren’t a health problem.  The writer ponders, searching for a third reason why smoking is bad for health, and can’t think of one.  So the writer changes his topic completely to fit the five-paragraph format.

What if the writer had instead researched wrinkles to see if there is any connection to smoking and health?    The writer might have learned that wrinkles are a health concern.  He might have learned about research connecting wrinkles and smoking and health.  He might have learned some open-ended questions which scientists are striving to answer.  He might have learned.

The problem with the five-paragraph essay is that it encourages closed-minded thinking, not learning.  It encourages simplistic, not complex, thinking.  It encourages safety, not exploration of ideas.  It encourages fill-in-the-blanks, not critical thinking.

Limit indirect quotes and increase direct quotes to improve writing

What is an indirect quote?  Here are some examples.

  • Sia said that she was really tired.
  • Riley asked me for a pencil.
  • April told the dog to get off the couch.
  • Donald Trump urged Alabama voters to choose Luther Strange.3rd grader writing an essay.

What is a direct quote?

  • Sia said, “I’m tired.”
  • “Hey, how about forking over a pencil, Dude?” asked Riley.
  • “Jump down this second, you naughty pooch!” April yelled at her dog.
  • “Big day in Alabama. Vote for Luther Strange, he will be great!” tweeted Donald Trump.

Why are direct quotes usually better?

  • The middle man is removed. The reader can decide for himself what the speaker or writer actually said and meant.
  • The personality of the speaker often shows through the use of formal or informal vocabulary and sentence structure.
  • The vocabulary is sometimes more precise or colorful.
  • The reader experiences the immediacy of an event.

Are indirect quotes ever okay?  Yes, of course.  Sometimes indirect quotes are even preferred, such as

  • If a speaker / reporter needs to be brief. Sometimes a paragraph of direct quotes can be reduced to a handful of words.
  • If the writer thinks she might be accused of a misquote, an indirect quote can eliminate this problem.
  • If the writer wants to hide the actual words used because the speaker used foul language, grammatical errors or anything which might show the speaker in a bad light, paraphrasing can eliminate these problems.
  • If the identity of the speaker needs to be hidden, but could be learned from the way he speaks, then paraphrasing provides cover.
  • If the writer doesn’t remember the exact words or wants to summarize them, then indirect quotes work well.

Bottom line:  Use direct quotes when you can.  If you  write with direct quotes, your writing is likely to sparkle.

Hurricanes Irma and Harvey: exciting writing topics

Students love to talk about current events.  But usually their ideas lack facts—high on “Well, I heard” but low on hard facts.

Here’s a way to give them the facts on Hurricane Irma or Hurricane Harvey—the geography, the science, even the math.

Order* “Hurricane Irma (or Harvey):  storm graphing, tracking and analyzing.”  With the information provided, students will be able to

  • Plot the latitude and longitude of Irma (or Harvey) on their own maps. Then they can use that data to write about the day-to-day path the hurricane took, where it crossed land, and where it went next (or where it stalled, in Harvey’s case).  This essay would be heavy on geography—what Caribbean islands the storm passed, what waters it passed through, what states, cities or counties were involved.
  • Create bar graphs of the lowest barometric pressure and the highest wind speed of either hurricane. Then students can compare the two graphs and notice how higher wind speed correlates with lower air pressure and with Saffir-Simpson categories.  Numbers are details, and with two graphs plus the Saffir-Simpson chart, the students would have plenty of details to write an essay heavy on science and math.
  • For a comparison/contrast essay, students could interpret a chart comparing Hurricane Katrina to Hurricane Harvey. Plenty of facts describe both storms.
  • Or for an expository essay, students could write an essay explaining why Hurricane Harvey was so destructive. All the information is provided.  Students could use this same information to paraphrase one paragraph or several.
  • A different expository essay could focus on why hurricanes form and strengthen, using scientific facts about Hurricane Irma. A shorter writing assignment using the same facts could be a summary or a paraphrase of a single paragraph.
  • What makes for an accurate forecast of a hurricane’s landfall location could be another expository essay, focusing on why meteorologists had trouble pinpointing the landfall location of Irma. All the information is provided.  Or a paragraph or two could be paraphrased.  Or the ideas could be summarized.

I wrote the lesson plans and gathered the facts, focusing on activities appropriate for fifth through eighth graders.

*To check out one or both lessons, click on Irma or Harvey.  The cost is $5 each.

Problems students encounter with questions demanding a written response

Most third graders now need to write paragraph responses to questions on ELA, math, science and social studies tests. This is one of the upgrades in skills brought by the Common Core curriculum. Previously, third graders might have been tested using only multiple choice questions or questions requiring a word or a phrase for an answer. But a whole paragraph written in grammatically correct sentences and with evidence from the text? This is new.

And it’s not easy. I’ve worked with a few students on these short answer responses requiring the inclusion of evidence. Here’s what happens.

• Students write an answer but they forget to include the evidence.
• Students quote the evidence, sometimes word for word, but fail to connect it to the question asked or to the main idea.
• Students provide only one example of evidence when the question calls for two or three.
• Students make up evidence, not realizing they must stick to the evidence in the text.
• Students provide irrelevant evidence.
• Students respond with un-asked-for information. If the directions ask the student to conclude, she might summarize. If the directions ask the student to describe, she might identify.
• Students do not stick to the point; they go off on tangents.
• Students write what they know even though that has not been asked for.
• Students write using incomplete or illogical thoughts.
• Students might talk around a topic without ever responding directly to the question asked.
• Students leave out information which is clear to them even though it might not be clear to a reader.
• Students tire or become distracted before they are done. They might forget to finish or give up.

Are there solutions? Yes, and we’ll talk about them in coming blogs.

To paraphrase is not to summarize

Paraphrasing means restating, using your own words and grammar to interpret the essence of a document.  Paraphrases contain about the same number of words as the original.  In paraphrases, you write the ideas in the same order as in the original.  You include all the original ideas and details, but you use spot-on synonyms for all key words and you use your own phrasing and sentence structure.  To follow the original sentence structure, merely substituting synonyms for significant words, is plagiarism.girl writing and thinking

Summarizing also means restating while using your own words and grammar.  But summaries are much shorter than the original.  A summary includes all the main ideas, but names only the most important details.  Summaries need not follow the original document  in order of presentation of ideas, though a summary should identify the original method of organization.  Nor does a summary need to include information from every paragraph.  Hooks can be eliminated.

Summaries distill the focus of the original document into concise language.  If your summary seems like a list of data, then it is poorly written.  You should use logic to connect ideas.

Why are summarizing and paraphrasing so important?  If you can paraphrase or summarize an article well, that shows you understand the original.  Paraphrasing is much like translating from one language to another.  You leave nothing out while finding the right vocabulary, grammar and tone to express the original document’s ideas.  Summarizing is also like translating, but for an impatient listener who wants only the important ideas.

Using long direct quotes is frowned upon in both paraphrases and summaries.  The exception is if the original document contains famous phrases or words.  Even then, only snippets of the original should be used.  If you are paraphrasing Abraham Lincoln’s “Gettysburg Address,” for example, quoting “of the people, by the people, and for the people” would be okay since those words are so identified with the document.  But quoting the whole sentence from which those words should not be done most of the time.

If you are paraphrasing or summarizing a writer or document whose style is important–Hemingway, for example–then showing that style by using direct quotes would be necessary.  Another way to handle that style issue would be to write your paraphrase or summary in the style of the original document and then point that out to the reader.