English Writing Teacher

Writing introductions to essays is hard for students.  Every single sentence in introductions is hard to write because students don’t know what belongs in those sentences.  Here are the kinds of first sentences I see from students writing an essay about a fictional story:

“I am writing about the book Gone with the Wind. The lady who wrote it was Margaret Mitchell.  The main idea is about a girl who lived during the Civil War.”

“The name of the book is Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing. Judy Blume wrote it, but Peter tells the story.  He tells about his brother Fudge.  Fudge is 3 and a pain in the neck.”

“Odysseus was a Greek king. He fought in the Trojan War.  Then he went home.  Only it took ten years to get home.  This is what The Odyssey is all about.  Homer wrote it.”

Wouldn’t it be nice if there was a pattern students could follow?  Well, there is.  Here is what I suggest to my students:

For the first sentence, identify the book and its author and one other fact, such as the year of publication or the setting.  Here are some good examples:

• Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell is set in Georgia during and after the Civil War.
• In Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing, author Judy Blume tells the story of an older brother, Peter, and his younger brother, Fudge.
• The Greek poet, Homer, probably wrote The Odyssey about 2,700 years ago, but he wrote about things that happened 500 years before that.

For the second sentence, identify the setting (time and place).  Here are some examples:

• Most of the novel takes place in Tara, a plantation near Atlanta, and in the city of Atlanta between 1861 and the early 1870s.
• Peter and Fudge live in modern times in an apartment in New York City, near a park and subways.
• After the Trojan War, a Greek king and his men sail in the Mediterranean Sea for many years, trying to get home.

For the third (and maybe fourth sentence) summarize the book.  Some examples are

• The novel tells how one person, Scarlett O’Hara, survives the Civil War and the years after it while loving one man she can’t marry. Later, she realizes the man she married is the one she really loves.
• Peter is embarrassed by the crazy things Fudge does, like pretending he is a bird, breaking off his two front teeth, and losing his shoe in the subway.
• When the Greek king, Odysseus, finally arrives back in Greece, he needs to fight many Greek men who want to marry his wife.

Use the next sentence to transition from the previous sentences to the main idea sentence (the fifth sentence) of your essay.  For example,

• Complicating the story is that the man Scarlett can’t marry loves someone else.
• On the first page, Peter wins a turtle Fudge likes, and in the last chapter, Fudge finally gets the turtle. The turtle is an important character in the novel.
• Since many years have passed since Odysseus left home, few recognize him. Of those closest to Odysseus, his wife and son do not recognize him, but his dog does.

Write your main idea or thesis in the final sentence of the essay.  Here are some examples:

• Throughout Gone with the Wind, Scarlett’s chasing after the man she loves moves the plot forward.
• Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing begins with Peter winning a turtle, and it ends with a crisis involving the turtle.
• At the story’s end, Odysseus slays his rivals and wins the affection of his loyal wife, returning to the situation before the Trojan War began.

Notice that in these introduction sentences:

• The word “I” is not used.
• The first sentence uses a pattern: The (name of book) by (name of author) is set in (someplace) or tells the story of (something).
• The other sentences use a pattern, too, a pattern identifying information to include.
• The last sentence is the main idea (thesis) sentence of the essay.

After students master this pattern, they can experiment with changes to it.  You might think that following a pattern lacks creativity.  Yes, it does.  But since the pattern contains all the important details, it’s a safe way to proceed.  For students learning to write essays, following a pattern that works is better than floundering with details that don’t work or with missing details.

When we start baking a cake, we use a recipe.  When we become better bakers, we can make changes to the recipe.  When we learn to write, we follow patterns.  Later, when we become proficient, we can make changes to those patterns.