Category Archives: verb choice

What to revise to improve writing

Posted on January 6, 2025 | Leave a comment

Students often think revising means editing, that is, making small changes. Adding an apostrophe or improving spelling is not revising.  Revising means making significant improvements to writing.  Revising is the process by which okay writing becomes great.

So what exactly is revising?  Here are some examples, though there are many more.

Change weak (nonspecific) verbs to specific verbs.  If possible rewrite the verb to be (is, are, was, were) and come, go, give, take, get, start, put, look, and see, but not say or said.

  • I got tired raking leaves, so I came inside and took a nap.  This becomes, After I tired from raking, I snuggled on my bed and napped.

After weak verbs, find infinitives or nouns that can be turned into strong verbs.

  • When the car started to spin, Mom took her foot off the gas pedal. This becomes, When the car spun, Mom released the gas pedal.

Use active, not passive verbs.

  • The apple was eaten by Mary. This becomes, Mary ate the apple.

Change long nouns (e.g., encouragement, contamination, habitation) to verbs.

  • Use moderation in your dietary habits. This becomes Moderate your diet.

Combine frequent small sentences (fewer than 10 words) to add sophistication to writing.

  • That’s my brother. His name is Akhil.  He is seven.  He can write a two-wheeler.  This becomes My seven-year-old brother, Akhil, can ride a two-wheeler.

Delete a sentence with just one bit of new information and put that information in another sentence to eliminate wordiness.

  • The baby fell out of the carriage. The carriage rolled down the hill.  This becomes, The baby fell out of the carriage which rolled down the hill.

Combine sentences to eliminate wordiness.

  • My uncle was wounded playing football. He played for the University of Georgia twenty years ago. He played before I was born.  This becomes, My uncle broke his leg playing football for the University of Georgia twenty years ago, before I was born.

Identify the sentence structures used (simple, compound, complex and compound-complex).  Rewrite the sentences to create more complicated simple sentences and easy-to-understand complex sentences, and to eliminate most compound sentences.

  • I watched the Rose Bowl Parade on TV, and I enjoyed it. I could not believe the floats!  They were covered with flowers, seeds, leaves, and other living things.  I hope, when I am older, to see the parade in person.  This becomes, I enjoyed watching the Rose Bowl Parade on TV.  Flowers, seeds, leaves and other living things covered the floats.  Someday, I hope to see that unbelievable parade in person.

Limit the number of dependent clauses in sentences to two.

  • The resort where we vacationed used to be a private club that attracted millionaires in the 19th century who arrived by train before wealthy people had air conditioning. This becomes, We vacationed at a resort that used to be a private club for millionaires.  In the 19th century, wealthy people arrived there by train.  They wanted to escape the heat in an era before air conditioning.

Change first words of sentences to add variety. 

  • See previous changes.

Count the number of words in each sentence.  Average them.  Aim for an average of 14 to 18 words with some longer and some shorter.  If the average is 10 or below, increase the number of words per sentence.  If the average is 20 or above, decrease the number of words per sentence.  Don’t count the number of words per sentence until you have made other changes or you will need to recount.

Leave a comment

Posted in "to be", active verbs, how to write better, number of words per sentence, passive verbs, revising first drafts, revising sentence length, sentence structure, verb choice, voice, writing tips

How to avoid overusing the verb “to be”

Posted on December 3, 2024 | Leave a comment

Eliminating the verb “to be” (is, are, was, were) from writing can improve your writing noticeably.  Yet eliminating “to be” verbs poses two problems.  First, easy-to-think of synonyms (seems, become) do not improve upon the weakness of “to be” verbs.  Second, students don’t want to take the time to think through strong alternatives.

Consider ways to help readers remember characters’ names.

Yet, strong alternatives exist.  Once students familiarize themselves with these alternatives, they will use them.

Alternative one:  Use an appositive.  Instead of writing, “Mario is my best friend.  He is on my soccer team,” write “Mario, my best friend, plays soccer on my team.”

Alternative two:  Keep the meaning but change the words and the sentence structure.  Instead of writing, “My sister was so disappointed when she didn’t get into Duke,” write “My sister moped around the house for days after she didn’t receive an acceptance from Duke.”

Alternative three:  Stick the idea in another sentence, and sometimes change the word order.  Instead of writing, “Olivia was overjoyed.  She was selected for the part of Annie in her school play,” write, “When Olivia learned she secured the role of Annie in her school play, she shrieked and danced through the house.”

To eliminate “to be” verbs as main verbs, students need to know the difference between main verbs and helping verbs.  Main verbs can usually be changed in the three ways mentioned above, but many helping verbs cannot be changed.  When writing the progressive verb tenses, forms of the verb “to be” need to be used as helping verbs, such as in “I am writing Grandma an email” or “The elephant had been trumpeting for her lost calf.”

When I tutor students, I ask them to write while I observe.  As questions arise, we discuss them.  Many times I see a sentence with the verb “to be” appear on a google doc only to be erased a moment later by my student and rewritten a different way, a better way—all without my saying a word.

My hope is that students apply the same thinking when I am not present.  One time a student of mine took an important writing exam.  I asked him if he did various things, and he replied, “Miss Kathy, I could hear your voice in my head.”  What a compliment!

Leave a comment

Posted in "to be", verb choice

Eight simple ideas to improve your writing

Posted on April 2, 2024 | Leave a comment

Don’t start a sentence with there is, there was, there are, there were.  When you start this way, you start with a filler word (“there”), not with the subject. You also use a form of the linking verb “to be” which is the weakest verb you can use.  Eliminating “there is” forces you to put your subject before your predicate and to use a stronger verb.

Write short sentences.  Usually, the longer a sentence is, the more clauses it contains.  The more clauses in a sentence, the harder it is for the reader to keep the ideas straight.  Limit the number of clauses in a sentence by limiting the number of words.

Use “said,” not “spoke,” “told,” “asserted,” “claimed,” and other words which mean “said.”  “Said” is an inconspicuous word which does not draw attention to itself.  As a writer, you should be highlighting what was said, not how it was said.

Use everyday but specific vocabulary.  Highfalutin words distance writers from many would-be readers.  If you are quoting a person who uses SAT words generously, repeat his language.  But keep your own words inconspicuous, so the focus is on your message, not on your  vocabulary.

Use short transition words.  “And,” “also,” “but,” “later,” and “then” are better choices than “additionally,” “furthermore,” “however,” and “subsequently.”  Longer transition words draw attention to themselves as words, so they take the reader’s attention away from the thoughts of the text.  They interrupt the flow.  Use modest one- and two-syllable transitions.

Keep paragraphs short.  Books written 100 or 200 years ago contain long, deadly paragraphs.  More recently written books contain shorter paragraphs with more white space on the page.  That white space makes the writing look friendly and nonthreatening.  To increase the white space, use smaller paragraphs.

Use dialog—direct quotes, not indirect quotes.  With indirect quotes, the author is distilling the original quotes.  Readers want to hear the original quotes so they can make up their minds as to what is important. Readers want to hear the tone of voice, the interruptions, the pauses, the inferences, and the vocabulary of the speakers.  Readers want to be there.

Keep yourself invisible unless you are writing a first-person account, or you are a character in your narrative.  Readers should not be aware someone wrote the words they are reading.  They should be aware of the information.  But if you do need to insert yourself into the writing, say “I,” not “this reporter” or “this listener.”

You might say, “But I know writers who ignore these ideas all the time.”  I do too.  Once you reach the stature of a Tracy Kidder or Ian McEwan, you can do what you want.  But until you do, you’re more likely to be read and understood if you follow these suggestions.

****

Need a writing tutor?  Contact me through this website.  I tutor writers from second grade through high school, in the US and overseas.

Leave a comment

Posted in "to be", dialog in writing, said, Transitions, verb choice, white space, word choice, writing tips

Tagged

What is a strong verb?

Posted on November 15, 2020 | Leave a comment

The surest way to improve writing is to write strong verbs.  But what are they?

  • verbs which show specific actions
  • verbs with one unambiguous meaning
  • verbs of Anglo-Saxon origin
  • verbs of one or two syllables
  • verbs stated in the active voice

The surest way to weaken writing is to write weak verbs.  What are they?

  • linking verbs, especially forms of the verb “to be”
  • verbs with multiple meanings
  • verbs with general, nonspecific meanings
  • three-, four-, and five-syllable verbs of Latin origin
  • verbs stated in the passive voice

Take the quiz to see if you can spot the strong verb.

1a.  The Senator waited for the election returns.
1b.  The Senator sweated out the election returns.
1c.  The Senator listened for the election returns.

2a.  Grandma looked peaceful sleeping in her rocker.
2b.  Grandma slept in her rocker.
2c.  Grandma giggled while sleeping in her rocker.

3a.  The toddler squealed while opening his gift.
3b.  The toddler was excited while opening his gift.
3c.  The toddler cried out while opening his gift.

4a.  The coffee burned my tongue.
4b.  The coffee scalded my tongue.
4c.  The coffee hurt my tongue.

5a.  I was startled when the cat appeared.
5b.  I was surprised when the cat appeared.
5c.  I leapt when the cat appeared.

Answers:

1b.  “Sweated out” is more specific.

2c.  “Giggled” is an action.

3c.  “Squealed” is more specific.

4b.  “Scalded is more specific.

5c.  “Leapt” is an active voice verb.

 

Leave a comment

Posted in "to be", active verbs, English Writing Instruction, verb choice

Forbidding am, is, are, was, were, be, been, being

Posted on November 15, 2019 | 3 comments

1  What if you could not use any forms of the verb “to be”?  No am, is, are, was, were, be, been or being.  No progressive verb tenses.  Fewer passive verbs. No “that’s” or “it’s.”  Could you do it?

2  That’s what two of my high school students were asked to do on a research paper due today.  Any form of the verb “to be” was outlawed by their teacher, even if that verb was part of a direct quote.

3  With no choice, they wrote and rewrote sentences.  They pared down direct quotes or paraphrased them.  They eliminated passive voice.  And then they asked me to scour their writing to be sure no forms of “to be” still lurked.

4  And they did it!

5  I was telling this to another student, an eighth grader, whose writing we had just revised, and for the heck of it, we re-revised, eliminating the verb “to be” in all its forms.  A funny thing happened.

6  The student’s writing became more concise.  The student’s writing contained more active verbs and fewer linking verbs.  “It’s better,” the student said.  “Oops,” he added, realizing he had said “it’s.”

Let’s try the strategy on this blog now.

In paragraph 1, I cannot eliminate the forms of the verb “to be” or you might not know what I am talking about.

Paragraph 2 begins with “That’s,” meaning “that is,” and later in the sentence, contains the passive verb “were asked.”  I can rewrite that sentence to say “Two of my high school students needed to do. . .” dropping the “were asked” part.  In the next sentence “was outlawed” and “was” need to be eliminated.  Instead I can write, “Students could use no form of the verb “to be” even if the verb occurred within a direct quote.”

Paragraph 3’s last sentence contains the infinitive “to be.”  I could rewrite that sentence like this:  “And then they asked me to scour their writing until. . .”

Paragraph 4 passes okay.

Paragraph 5 begins with “I was telling.”  I could easily change that to “I told.”

Paragraph 6 passes okay.

When I first heard about the “confining” verb choices for my students’ assignment, I said to myself, “Ridiculous.”  But now I am an ardent fan of this way of writing.  The results convinced me.  Fewer words.  Tighter sentences.  Fewer linking verbs.  More specific verbs.  More active voice.

Win-win.

3 Comments

Posted in "to be", action verbs, active verbs, English Writing Instruction, passive verbs, practice writing skills, teaching writing, verb choice, writing tips