Category Archives: Figures of speech

What makes sentences great?

Do you collect things? My grandson collects Lego creations.  My husband collects carpentry tools.  My brother collects genealogical trivia.  I collect books on writing. 

Frank Bruni, a New York Times columnist, collects sentences.  He has just published what he considers the best ones of 2023, most submitted by readers.  Almost all are about politicians.  And almost all use one or more figures of speech, bringing complexity to the sentence meanings.  Yet many are a hoot.  To read 40 of them, go to https://www.nytimes.com/2023/12/28/opinion/2023-journalism-writing-sentences.html

But what makes them “the best” sentences of 2023?  Let’s analyze a few.

Maureen Dowd, columnist for The New York Times, writes about an interview with former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi after she stepped down from that office:  “I was expecting King Lear, howling at the storm, but I found Gene Kelly, singing in the rain.”

Dowd uses antithesis, a figure of speech which contrasts opposites.  King Lear, a tragic Shakespearean character, is contrasted with Gene Kelly, a blithe, happy-go-lucky dancer.  To intensify the contrast, Dowd describes King Lear as “howling at the storm” which his life has become and describes Kelly as “singing in the rain.”  Dowd expected to find Pelosi, stepping down from her role as the leader of the House of Representatives, to be angry.  Instead, she finds her “singing in the rain.”

Washington Post columnist Alexandra Petri writes about the ethical shortcomings of Supreme Court justices:  “It is a truth universally acknowledged that an American billionaire, in possession of sufficient fortune, must be in want of a Supreme Court justice.”

Petri uses allusion, a figure of speech which calls to mind (in this case) the famous opening line of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice:  “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife.”  Petri keeps the grammar and changes just six words.  Anyone familiar with Austen’s famous line recognizes the sentence.  The humor comes from Petri’s keeping the tongue-in-cheek tone of the original.

Matt Bai, a columnist for the Washington Post, argues that vice presidential candidates do affect elections: “I’d argue that Sarah Palin mattered in 2008, although she was less of a running mate than a running gag.”

One way to create humor is to lead readers down a path, so that readers think they know what to expect.  Then at the last second, or the last word in this case, twist the meaning.  The word “running” is repeated, leading readers to expect that the meaning of “running” will also be repeated.  But it isn’t.  “Running mate” is totally different from “running gag.”  The humor comes from verbal irony.

Pulitzer Prize winner and Washington Post writer Robin Givhan writes about President Jimmy Carter’s decision to use Hospice care for his final days: “Hospice care is not a matter of giving up. It’s a decision to shift our efforts from shoring up a body on the verge of the end to providing solace to a soul that’s on the cusp of forever.”

Givhan uses anthesis when she contrasts a body dying to a soul heaven-bound.  Jimmy Carter, a Christian, believes that life continues after death, so “on the cusp of forever” matches his expectations.  Givhan’s use of the word “soul” intensifies this expectation.

Anthony Lane, film critic for The New Yorker, comments on all the pink coloring in the film Barbie“Watching the first half-hour of this movie is like being waterboarded with Pepto-Bismol.”

Pepto-Bismol is a bubble-gum-pink colored liquid used for digestive issues, including diarrhea.  Waterboarding is a form of torture.  Torture is not funny, but the visual image of a person struggling to stay afloat in a pink liquid used for diarrhea shows what Lane thinks of all that pink in Barbie.

Figures of speech aren’t just for poems, as these noted newspaper columnists prove.  One way to learn how to use more figures of speech is to copy these “best” sentences, substituting your own words and ideas.  For example,

It is a truth universally acknowledged that woman in possession of unwanted Christmas gifts must be in want of Goodwill.”

Happy New Year.

 

 

George Orwell’s six rules of writing

George Orwell, author of Nineteen Eighty-Four and Animal Farm, published an essay in 1946 called “Politics and the English Language.”  In it he offers six rules for better writing.  I reproduce them here in Orwell’s own words.

1.  Never use a metaphor, simile, or other figure of speech which you are used to seeing in print.

2.  Never use a long word where a short one will do.

3.  If it is possible to cut a word out, always cut it out.

4.  Never use the passive where you can use the active.

5.  Never use a foreign phrase, a scientific word, or a jargon word if you can think of an everyday English equivalent.

6.  Break any of these rules sooner than say anything outright barbarous.

Add details

Students write in generalities rather than with precise detail.  Yet it is detail that enhances writing.

Take, for example, this general sentence:  The dog barked at the cat.  See how it changes when we add details.

Adding numbers:  The dog barked at the single cat.

Adding dates, days, seasons:  Just as the sun was setting, the dog barked at the single cat.

Adding proper nouns, names:  Just as the sun was setting, Fang barked at the Fluffy.

Adding places:  Just as the sun was setting in the back yard, Fang barked at the Fluffy.

Adding stories:  Just as the sun was setting in the back yard, Fang barked at  Fluffy, the cat almost hit by the garbage truck this morning.

Sensory information, figures of speech:  Just as the hazy sun was setting in the back yard, grey-muzzled Fang barked at puny, calico-coated Fluffy, the cat almost hit by the careening garbage truck this morning.

Specific verbs:  Just as the hazy sun was setting in the back yard, grey-muzzled Fang growled at puny, calico-coated Fluffy, the cat almost crushed by the careening garbage truck this morning.

What are details?

  • numbers, %, time
  • dates, days, seasons, eras
  • proper nouns
  • names
  • places
  • stories
  • direct quotes
  • thoughts
  • facts
  • for examples
  • sensory information
  • description
  • specific verbs
  • figures of speech

Do you use metaphors? How about similes?

I don’t use metaphors or similes when I write fiction.  I’ve been aware of this for a couple of years, and so made a resolution to incorporate more metaphors and similes into my writing, especially my fiction writing.  But I have had little success.

Now I know why.

When I insert a metaphor or simile into narration, it reminds readers that an author is writing what they are reading.  A metaphor or simile draws readers away from the story line to consider a comparison.  A metaphor or simile interrupts the flow of writing and takes readers out of the story to consider the meaning of or the aptness of the figure of speech.

And I don’t want that.What I want, as an author, is for my readers to become “one” with my story, to find my story so real, so compelling, that they “live” in the story, unaware of the real world around them.  Metaphors and similes force the reader to leave the story—momentarily, true—and enter the real world to think about the figure of speech.  The flow is broken.

Two exceptions exist. One is that it is okay to include a metaphor or simile in either the spoken words of a character or in his or her thoughts.  Once your smile to me was wine, a character could think as she looks across the table to her long-time husband.  Or a mother beset with children’s demands, a ringing phone, and a dog’s whine could say, “My life is like a soap opera.”  In these situations—thinking and speaking—metaphors and similes still interrupt the flow of the story if the reader needs to think about the comparisons.  But they can seem organic if a character uses them.

Another exception is when the figure of speech is a cliché that is readily understood and needs no consideration.  When a character says, “That water is as cold as ice,” or when another character thinks, I smell a rat, we needn’t think about the comparison because we have heard it many times before and readily understand it.

Of course some writers do use metaphors and similes successfully, especially when a story is told in the first person.  If you have read any of Raymond Chandler’s stories about his famous detective, Philip Marlowe, you have encountered hundreds of figures of speech because the character of Marlow thinks in similes and metaphors.  Those stories are told in first person point of view, so the figures of speech form part of the personality of the narrator.

How about you?  Do you use similes and metaphors?  Do you agree with me that these figures of speech interrupt the flow of narration?

Writing metaphors

Metaphors are powerful figures of speech.  For example, take Robert Frost’s poem “Stopping by Woods on a Snowy Evening.”  Of the last two identical lines, the first is literal but the second is metaphorical.  The first “And miles to go before I sleep” means just that, a long way to travel before the horse and buggy driver can drop into bed.   But the second “And miles to go before I sleep” means–perhaps–not a literal sleep but the “sleep” of death.  Frost could have ended his poem with, “And miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I die,” but how much more eloquent is his repetition of the word “sleep,” a metaphor for death.

EPSON MFP imageReading metaphors requires more of  readers than does reading literal words or even similes.  Readers must make a connection which is inferred but not stated directly.  Yet for their work, readers are rewarded, gaining satisfaction from discovering the meaning of the metaphor.

Metaphors are rarely written by adults and especially not by children.  They need to be taught, and need to be practiced.

Where to begin?  Here are three ways.

  • Suppose a child is writing a story with two or three characters. The child could use ordinary names for his characters, or he could use names as metaphors, the way J. K. Rowling does in her Harry Potter books.  (Malfoy means bad faith; Snape sounds like snake; the “mort” of Voldemort means death.)  A child could create a metaphorical name to reveal something about a character’s nature.  You and the student could brainstorm about a name which indicates bossiness, for example.  It could be a word which means boss (Lord, Lady, King, Rex, Regis, Mayor, Bishop, Majors) or a word which sounds like a word which means boss, even if it is made up (Empor, Captin, Sarge, Leder).
  • Suppose a character is doing something, such as running fast, and the child writes a simile, such as “runs like a cheetah.” Show the child that he could also write that the character “runs on cheetah legs.”  Many similes are easily turned into metaphors.  “as fast as lightning” could be “lightning fast” or “races with lightning steps.”  “Runs as fast as a rocket” could be “blasts on rocket feet.”
  • Ask the child to picture someone’s hands not as hands, but as something else:  scissors, pencils, chopsticks, or hooks.  Now turn that image into a metaphor.  He ate with chopstick fingers.  She arranged her hair with finger combs.  Mom smoothed her dress with finger irons.