Category Archives: clarity

How do you paraphrase?

Posted on July 15, 2015 | Leave a comment

In the 21st century, middle school students are writing research papers, so they need to know how to paraphrase. Quoting word-for-word is no longer the preferred way to present information in a research paper; paraphrasing is.

So what is paraphrasing? Paraphrasing is saying what someone else said (or wrote) using your own vocabulary and grammar. Paraphrasing turns antiquated writing into easy-to-understand modern writing; paraphrasing captures the essence of a writer’s ideas while ignoring his boring language; paraphrasing avoids plagiarism.

Paraphrasing is not the same as summarizing. In a paraphrase, the writer tries to capture all the important details of the original; in a summary, the writer leaves out most of those details.

How does a student paraphrase?

  • First, read the selection to be paraphrased. If you don’t understand every word and idea, read it again, look up words and ask for help. You can’t paraphrase what you don’t understand.
  • Carefully study the first sentence. Put it in your own words, being careful to use different vocabulary.   In particular, change the verbs if you can, using specific synonyms.
  • Now change the grammar. Try changing the order of the parts of the sentence so the ideas are the same, but they are not stated within a sentence in the same order.
  • Of course, you will need to use some of the same words in the original for which there are no synonyms, or for which alternatives would be cumbersome. If you are paraphrasing rules about how to play soccer, for example, you would need to use “soccer,” “ball,” “goal, “field” “play” and many other soccer-specific words.
  • Move through the selection one sentence at a time. As you get more experience, you can paraphrase ideas rather than sentences, combining ideas in several sentences in the original into one sentence in the paraphrase.  Or you can cut long, verbose sentences in the original into two or more shorter sentences in the paraphrase.
  • Paraphrases don’t need to be exactly the same length as the original, but all the important ideas in the original need to be stated in the paraphrase.
  • Read over your paraphrase to be sure it is clear to the reader.

Notice the difference between the Preamble of the Declaration of Independence and a paraphrased version:

The original words:   “When, in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another, and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the laws of nature and of nature’s God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation.”

A paraphrase: Sometimes, one group of people who have been politically connected to another group of people decide it’s necessary to go their separate ways and to become a new country. Out of respect for everyone involved, it’s a good idea for the country which is separating to explain the reasons why the break is necessary.

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Posted in clarity, English Writing Instruction, grammar, paraphrasing, summarizing

In a dialog, don’t identify the speakers over and over. Trust your readers.

Posted on May 6, 2015 | Leave a comment

What do you notice about this dialog?

“Can I go with you?” the child asked her father.
“No, not this time,” her father said.
“Why not?” the child asked.
“Because,” the father said.
“Because why?” the child said.
“Because I’m going on a business trip,” the father said.

Beginning writers often identify the speaker in every line of dialog in narrative writing.  This slows down the action and needlessly irritates the reader. If there are just two characters talking, it is unnecessary to identify someone on every line. Compare the above dialog with this one:

“Can I go with you?” the child asked her father.
“No, not this time, hon.”
“Why not?”
“Because.”
“Because why?” She pouted her lip.
“Because I’m going on a business trip.”

Did you have any trouble keeping track of who was speaking?

Suppose the above dialog continued for another six or more lines? You might need to write “he said or “she said,” one more time to keep the speakers clear. But maybe not.

“Why can’t I go, Daddy?”
“Because you’re five years old.”
“So—” The child folded her arms over her chest.
“So when you are grown up, you’ll go on lots of business trips.”
“Really?
“Really.”
“Daddy?”
“Yes, angel.”
“Will you bring me a present?”

Did you notice there were no he saids or she saids?

How can you avoid over-identifying the speaker in a dialog, yet keep the speaker clear?

  • Make sure that the first one or two lines clearly show who is talking. Often both identifications can go on the first line, if the relationship between the speakers is made clear, as above.
  • Use the “voice” of the speakers, so their way of speaking—their grammar, their vocabulary, and their pronunciation—identifies them. “Because why?” is the way a child would talk.
  • Use details that identify who is talking. “Because I’m going on a business trip” would be said by a father, not by a child. “She pouted her lip” identifies that the child said the previous words without using “she said.” “Yes, angel” would be said by a father. A child would ask for a gift.
  • Make sure each character’s line of dialog becomes a separate paragraph, and the person speaking—if identified—is identified in the same paragraph with his spoken words.
  • Instead of using “he said” or “she said,” write words to let the reader “see” the speaker. “He snapped his suitcase closed. She hugged her Teddy bear.”

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Posted in clarity, dialog in writing, narrative writing

Use active verbs, not passive verbs, to improve your writing

Posted on March 11, 2015 | Leave a comment

What are active verbs? In a sentence with an active verb, the subject does the verb.

  • “The cat licked her paw.” In this sentence, the cat is the subject, and it is doing the licking.
  • “Lee ate a sandwich.” In this sentence, Lee is the subject, and Lee is doing the eating.
  • “The red car crashed into the blue car.” In this sentence, the red car is the subject, and it did the crashing.

What are passive verbs? In a sentence with a passive verb, the subject does not do the verb. In fact, we may not know who does the verb.

  • “I was followed home by a dirty dog.” In this sentence, I is the subject, but I does not do the following.
  • “By that time, the contract had been accepted.” In this sentence, the contract did not do the accepting. We don’t know who did the accepting.
  • “Homework was assigned by every teacher.” In this sentence, the homework did not do the assigning.

What are the advantages of active verbs?

  • Clarity—Active verbs make your writing easily understood the first time.
  • Brevity—Using active verbs is almost always the most concise way to write.
  • Action—Your writing zips along when you use active verbs.

Then, why do we have passive verbs?

  • To mask the doer of an action. Sometimes we don’t want to say who did the action of the verb because it might be more diplomatic not to identify who did the action. Or we might not know who did the action. For example, you could say, “Explosions were set off at the port.”
  • To obfuscate. Sometimes a writer deliberately wants to keep the reader confused or unsure.
  • To slow down the action in a narrative.

Henry James is a 19th century American novelist who wrote in the passive voice and often used the verb “to be.” Many readers find his writing ponderous because of its long sentences and lack of action. His writing demands that you reread a sentence to understand it. This kind of writing seems quaint and tedious to 21st century readers who want James to get to the point. But maybe the people he wrote for had leisure to appreciate a slower pace in fiction.

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Posted in clarity, English Writing Instruction, passive verbs

How to write well, according to Swain

Posted on March 8, 2015 | Leave a comment

If you could boil down how to write well into just a few ideas, what would they be?

How about

  • Choose vivid, specific words, words that excite our senses. Avoid generalities by using concrete words that create pictures in the readers’ minds. If you write about groups of people, focus on an individual.
  • Choose active verbs, verbs that put action into those vivid pictures. Avoid the verb “to be.” Use the simple past tense whenever you can, not past progressive or the perfect tenses.
  • Rarely use adverbs. Instead, through action show what the adverb suggests.  If you must use an adverb, put it at the beginning or end of the sentence for the most impact.
  • Vary your sentence structures. Use long sentences, short sentences; simple, compound and complex sentences; sentences that start with prepositional phrases, dependent clauses and gerunds; and sentences that aren’t sentences at all.
  • Don’t try to cram too much information into a single sentence.
  • If you repeat words, repeat enough times and close enough together so those words create impact.
  • Concise is better than verbose.
  • And most important of all, write clearly. The reader should “get it” the first read.

These suggestions come from a single chapter in Techniques of the Selling Writer by Dwight V. Swain, 1965.

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Posted in adverbs, clarity, English Writing Instruction, sensory detail, sentence structure

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