Suppose you are writing about Mae babysitting. Should you write:
Mae looked at the little boy. This experienced babysitter wondered when she should put the child to bed. The tired girl wanted to bathe the child now, read him a book, and turn out his light in a half hour. But should the young woman do that?
Or should you write
Mae looked at the little boy. She wondered when she should put the child to bed. She wanted to bathe the child now, read him a book, and turn out his light in a half hour. But should she do that?
Writing experts say to write the second way. Why?
Normally, when we speak, at the second mention of a person, we substitute a pronoun for the person’s name. If we use another way to describe or name the person, the reader thinks we are talking about a new person. That is because we are so used to hearing a pronoun used as a second reference.
What does the first example add that the second doesn’t? “Experienced babysitter,” “tired girl,” and “young woman.” Do those descriptors add anything important to the meaning of the paragraph, namely, whether Mae should put the little boy to bed? Not really. Do they distract the reader from the real meaning of the paragraph? Yes.
At second reference, use a pronoun. At third reference, use a pronoun. If other people are involved, especially another person of the same gender, use the persons’ names to avoid confusion. Occasionally repeat the original person’s name to remind the reader who you are writing about, but most of the time, use pronouns for subsequent references. If you must use a noun, use the most generic noun–girl, woman–at second or third reference.
Sometimes the simplest, least “clever” way is the best.