Write the first draft skipping lines or double spacing.

Since most of the improvement in writing comes in revising, it is important for students to leave room in their first drafts for revising. For that reason, I recommend that:With a first draft, leave spaces between lines and keep a one inch margin all around.

  • Students should write on every other line of notebook paper if writing by hand, or they should double space if composing on the computer. That additional space between lines allows room to insert changes and still be able to read the text. For students who are not used to skipping lines, I print tiny X’s in the left margin of every other line to remind the students to skip lines. Most students are not used to writing this way, and they forget. If so, let them finish the line they are on and then skip the next line. Once they have revised, they will understand the need for all this white space.
  • Students should write on one side of the paper only. This way, as they start a new page, they can look back at the last few sentences they have written without flipping the paper back and forth. Rereading as they write is important for continuity. It also allows room on the back of the paper for major revisions later on, including adding whole paragraphs. Another plus is that by placing the words just written above and almost touching an empty page of notebook paper, the student does not perceive an empty page, and he finds it easier to pick up the thread.
  • Students should leave one inch margins on each side of notebook paper and on the computer. The margins allow for more revision space and for other kinds of analyzing, which I will explain in a later blog.
  • Students should write darkly so that the writing can be easily read. If they use pen, they should use dark blue or black ink for easy reading and because colored pencils or inks will be used in the revising process.
  • Students should use clear handwriting. If I cannot read a student’s handwriting, I stop the student immediately and ask him to fix the poor handwriting until it is legible. Poor handwriting is usually nothing more than a lazy habit. Insist on good handwriting if the student wants your help. If the student is using a computer, insist on a simple, easy-to-read typeface.
  • What about perfectionists? Some students will not tolerate mistakes and will insist on starting over if they forget to skip a line or if an erasure leaves too dark a smudge. I encourage students to get used to messy first drafts because when we revise, the copy will become much more messy. I show new students copies of other students’ work to prove my point. But some students will come to a standstill unless they are allowed to start over. Sometimes I allow a student to cut off the imperfect part, paste the good part to a clean paper, and continue on. Other times, I allow one start-over and that is it. But for a few students, any limit on starting over can leave them in tears.  Perhaps a serious talk about perfectionism is in order, showing how perfectionism slows a student and ultimately leads to lower grades. In my experience, many perfectionists are gifted students for whom perfectionism becomes an obsession unless it is checked early.

Next we will talk about composing the first draft.

What are some types of essay introductions that hook the reader?

Teachers have drummed into students’ heads that essay introductions need hooks. But all too often, the hooks students write wouldn’t snare a minnow. What kinds of hooks work? Let’s take the topic, “When I lost a tooth,” and look at some hooks that would make the reader want to continue reading.

Anecdote: (a story from the news, history, family, or personal experience):

My Grandpa says he doesn’t remember when his first tooth fell out, but he remembers when his last one did. It was after he cracked a walnut with his teeth, and a tooth broke apart. He had to go to Dr. Taylor’s office to have the rest of the tooth pulled out. Grandpa says that was the most expensive walnut he ever ate.

Analogy/comparison: (This introduction hooks better if the two items being compared seem not to be related)

A tooth is like a baby’s diaper. We don’t think much about either of them when they are working fine. But if they are falling out or falling off, that’s all we can think of!

Dialog: (Use quotation marks. Each time a different person talks, start a new paragraph.)

“Hey, Mom, how much did the tooth fairy bring when your teeth fell out?”
“A nickel a tooth.”
“A nickel a tooth! That’s all?”
“That’s all.”
“Didn’t they invent quarters back then?”

Irony/humor:

Every six or seven-year-old kid loses teeth. Why, there must be millions of kids all over the world right now who can’t eat corn on the cob.

Statistics:

When I was in first grade, every single kid lost a tooth, and most of us lost more than one. Billy Ellingham was the champion though. He lost seven teeth that year. I remember because we kept track with a bar graph on the bulletin board.

Startling claim:

Suppose you brush your teeth for a minute in the morning and a minute in the evening every day this year. That’s 730 minutes, or more than 12 hours standing in front of a sink brushing and spitting.

Compelling question:

Did you know that when a shark’ tooth falls out, the shark can grow a new tooth as many times as it needs to?

Generalization:

My Grandma calls my teeth my pearly whites.

Next we’ll look at some of the mechanics of writing a first draft that make revising easier.

Writing introductions can be so hard.

Even with detailed prewriting organizers, many students have no idea how to begin an essay. They stare at that empty notebook page for ten or twenty minutes. Then, in desperation, they either introduce themselves (“Hi. My name is Sid. I’m going to tell you about my pet dog.”) or they write a question (“Do you want to know about my pet dog?”).

Writing introductions can be hard.

When I see a student having difficulty beginning an essay, I suggest several options. “My pet dog just had a litter of puppies. Two of them are black, one is brown and one is spotted. We named the spotted one Spot but we are still thinking about what to name the others.” Or, “Spot is such a dumb name for a dog, but that is what my little sister called one of our new puppies. I wanted to call the puppy ‘Blob’ but my mother said no.” Or, “If you name a puppy, does that mean you get to keep it? My little sister wants to keep one of the puppies from our big dog’s litter, so she named it Spot.”

Sometimes students use one of my suggestions, but more often they modify one of them. I never write down the introduction for them; they need to listen to my suggestions, and write their own introduction. My job is to get them thinking of options. Their job is to write the introduction.

In upcoming blogs, I will talk about various kinds of introductions, but for now I hope to point out how difficult writing an introduction is for some students. Think of it this way: You go to a party and you don’t know anyone. How do you begin a conversation? Do you wait for someone else to start? Do you move around the fringes of groups and listen for a topic you know something about? Do you head for a shadowy corner?

Beginning the essay, even armed with a detailed prewriting organizer, can be daunting. But when students have written a handful of essays, this task usually eases. Sometimes they write an introduction and then call me over to ask my opinion. I see this as a giant step forward for a student since he has taken the initiative to begin.

What if the student writes, “Hi. My name is Sid. I’m going to tell you about my pet dog.” I let it go until later, after the essay is complete. Then I explain that sometimes we need a crutch to begin writing, and that this kind of beginning is a crutch. I say, “What if we cross out ‘Hi. My name is Sid. I’m going to tell you about my dog.’ Instead, what if we start the essay with what comes next?” Almost always what follows is a better beginning, and almost always the student can see that. I have seen students begin essays with “Hi. My name is. . .” and then cross those words out themselves once they understand those words are a crutch they need to use to get themselves going.

And what about boring question beginnings? Students need to know that there is nothing wrong with a question, but it needs to be a question that sparks interest. Instead of, “Do you want to know about my dog?” I help students change the question into one which might get “yes” for an answer. “Do you want to know what it’s like to watch a dog have babies?” “Do you know what a mother dog does right after her puppies are born?” “Do you think having five kids at a time is normal? Well, it is for my dog.”

In our next blog, we will talk about useful types of introductions.

For comparison and contrast essays, use a chart or a Venn diagram as a prewriting organizer.

How are Percy Jackson and Harry Potter the same?  How are they different?  How are an iPhone and a Droid the same?  How are they different?  How are elementary school and middle school the same?  How are they different?

For essays like these, where one concept needs to be compared (to show similarities) and contrasted (to show differences), a simple chart or a Venn diagram is easy for children to create and does the job well.

sharks_comparison_chart

Click on the graphic to enlarge it.

For the chart organizer, draw two vertical lines on notebook paper, creating three columns.  Use the first column to list ideas to be compared or contrasted and the other two columns for the ideas being contrasted (for example, WWI and WWII).  Similarities can be written over the line separating the second two columns.

For the Venn diagram organizer, start with two huge circles that overlap by a third.  On their own, students draw circles that are too small and that barely overlap.  Instead, I have them trace a seven or eight inch bowl whose shape fills about two-thirds of a page of notebook paper.  If two seven-inch circles are traced, overlapping in the middle, the result is enough room for the three kinds of information needed in the essay:  how each concept differs (the outer parts of the circles) and how each concept is similar (the overlapped part).

For students comfortable with mind webs, I recommend using Venn diagrams.  The circles of the Venn diagram look something like a mind web and bring continuity to the prewriting experience.  If there is not enough room in the circles, we tape another paper to the bottom or side of the page and add more information there.  But a chart works just as well for students who prefer that way of organizing.

When the chart or diagram is full, I ask students to use colored pencils to identify information that should go together in the same body paragraphs.  Students might circle Harry Potter’s and Percy Jackson’s ages in red; where they live in red; where they go to school or camp in red and when the stories take place in red.  They might circle their friends in blue.  They might circle their tasks or actions in green.  Then they number the colors to show what kinds of information they plan to use in the first, second and third body paragraphs.

Essay on sharks by a third grader.

To enlarge, click on the photo.

Previous blogs have covered why prewriting organizers are important, and how to construct and use easy kinds of organizers for expository and persuasive essays (mind webs) and for narratives (modified time lines).  Now the student is ready to begin the first draft.  Next time we will talk about introductions.

Use a modified time line as a prewriting organizer for narratives

Narratives tell stories, either fiction (a detective story, for example) or nonfiction (the life of a butterfly, a biography, or a trip, for example). For students, those stories are clearest if they are written in chronological order. So I recommend a modified time line to plan those stories.

The kinds of time lines used in history classes are detailed with dozens of dates. That is not what I mean by a modified time line. I mean a beginning, middle and end.

  • At the top of a page of notebook paper, I ask students to write the word “beginning.” If the story is fiction, just under the word “beginning” I instruct them to write “setting—place and time, characters, opening scene, and problem to be solved.” The student writes down that information, not in sentences, but just in phrases or snippets that he can go back to later to develop his story.
  • If the story is nonfiction, the student might label the beginning, middle and ending differently. The labels might be “childhood, school years, adulthood” or “before the war, during the war, while president” or “foal, colt, stallion.”
An example of a modified timeline organizer on Babe Ruth's life--childhood, school years, and baseball career.

Click on the graphic to enlarge it.

  • For a fiction story, most of the detail will happen in the middle part. Here the student will add more phrases, snippets, arrows, cartoons or whatever helps him organize the action of his narrative.
  • For nonfiction, the three or more parts might all be about the same size. Or there might be more than three parts, but for beginning writers, I recommend three parts. Three seems doable.
  • A few lines up from the bottom, I ask the student to write the word “End” if the story is fiction. Next to it the student writes “Resolution.” Here the student writes down how his story will end and any ideas that need to be explained.
  • If the story is nonfiction, again there should be a clear ending to the story.

Easy? You bet. Does it work? Yes, if there is enough detail. I don’t let the students begin writing unless there are about ten or more ideas or steps in the beginning and middle parts. For new students, I ask them to explain one or two of these steps to be sure they are thinking the narrative through. When they discuss it with me, I suggest more ideas for them to write down, so that they see the degree of detail I hope they will include in their stories.

Completed Babe Ruth essay using the timeline example.

Babe Ruth essay from the modified timeline organizer example. Click on the essay picture to enlarge it.

Since many students enjoy writing detective stories, the “resolution” becomes how to solve the case. For students traveling in space, the problem is to get home or to the new planet or to save someone. But the problem can be simpler: how did Abraham Lincoln die, or where does the mother bear go in the winter to have new cubs. The ending of the narrative should satisfy both the reader and author.

Comparison essays are another type students are often asked to write. In the next blog, we’ll talk about an easy prewriting organizer for them.