Find the number of words per sentence, and then increase that number

Posted on November 5, 2014 | Leave a comment

First, why is having more words in a sentence important?

  • Little children write little sentences. Their writing sounds childish in part because each sentence is so short and contains only one idea.  (I have a dog.  His name is Rex.  Rex barks.)  By writing longer sentences, children increase the sophistication of their writing.  (My dog, a tan boxer, barks at other dogs.)
  • Tiny sentences are almost always simple sentences. As children grow, they are taught in school to add conjunctions to form compound sentences.  Unfortunately, these string-along sentences continue to sound childish.  (I have a dog and his name is Rex and Rex barks.)  Children need practice in forming longer sentences without relying on “and,” “but” and “so.”
  • When children write longer sentences, the sentence grammar changes from short simple sentences and string-along compound sentences to more adult-like sentence structures—complicated simple sentences and complex sentences. This change is the real reason I have students count words in sentences and is more important than the actual number of words per sentence.  But children need proof that change is necessary, and counting the number of words offers that.  By their own calculations, children see that they are writing too many short sentences.

Word count before and after revising the sentences.I begin by offering students a calculator.  Using a calculator in a writing lesson surprises students, yet they relish using it.  (However, because revising verbs and sentence openings often changes the number of words per sentence, this activity should wait until early revising activities are done.  Many students will want to do this as soon as they finish their first draft.  Restrain them until they have done the harder revising of verbs and sentence openings.)

Next, I ask students to count the number of words in each sentence and to record the number in the margin near the sentence (not within the copy itself or the number will become lost in a well revised essay).  I encourage students to write the number with a colored pencil so the number will be easy to find later.  Some students think I mean the number of words per line, so I usually count the number of words in the first few sentences with them, watching, so they get the idea.  Even then, I point out that I am counting sentences, not the number of words on a line.

After all the words are counted, I ask students to add up the total number of words (that is, to add up all the margin numbers they have just written down).  Then they add up the total number of sentences, either by counting the number of first words circled (not such a good idea since those words often change) or by counting the number of numbers in the margin (easy if the numbers are in colored ink).

Now the student uses a calculator to divide the total number of words by the total number of sentences, to find the average (mean) number of words per sentence.

Because little children tend to write little sentences, and adults tend to write longer sentences, I give every student a target number of words per sentence based on grade level.  For third graders it is 13; for fourth graders, 14; for fifth graders, 15.  I set a target of more than 15 for middle schoolers, and the high teens for high school students and older.

Granted, these numbers are arbitrary.  But they are easy for students to remember and they serve the purpose of making students work to increase the number of words per sentence.  Rarely do I teach a beginning student who matches the target number in his writing without revising.  But with revising, the number always increases.

A few exceptions:

  • Students who use dialog will have shorter sentences because people usually speak in shorter sentences. Try calculating just the sentences without dialog.  I have had some students try to eliminate dialog to increase the number of words per sentence.  No!  The dialog sparkles the writing and needs to stay.
  • What if children use interjections like “Wow!” or “Holy cow!” Should they be counted as a sentence?    Ignore them.

How do children increase the number of words per sentence?  We will look at that in the next blog.

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Analyzing simple, compound, complex and compound/complex sentences can improve writing

Posted on October 27, 2014 | Leave a comment
four declarative sentence types

Click on the image to enlarge it.

Most writing is done in declarative sentences.  But those declarative sentences can be broken down into four types:  simple, compound, complex and compound-complex.  Good writers use all four types.

With older students who know what simple, compound, complex and compound-complex sentences are, I ask them to identify each sentence in an essay.  I don’t do this for every essay, but occasionally it offers a student insight into his own writing.  It also suggests sentence types that are overused or not used enough.

Using the four kinds of sentences, the student identifies every sentence in his essay using tally marks.  Then we look at the results.

  • Students who have a majority of simple sentences might be writing (and thinking) too simply if the sentences are mostly short and uncomplicated. An abundance of clear yet, complicated simple sentences, on the other hand, shows a writer mastering sentence construction.

    • What is a complicated simple sentence? It might start with a phrase—a gerund phrase, an infinitive phrase or a prepositional phrase.  It might add a compound subject or predicate and include a direct object or predicate adjective.  It might delight with details such as appositives.  Words might be out of the typical order.  There is no one formula.
  • Students who have a majority of complex sentences might be writing in too complicated a manner, especially if the average number of words per sentence (we’ll discuss this in a future blog) is more than 20. A high mix of complicated simple sentences and complex sentences, with a few short simple sentences thrown in, almost like spices in a recipe, usually results in attractive writing.

    • Some students use complex sentences well but nearly always begin those sentences with the independent clauses. Turning some of those sentences around—starting with the subordinate conjunction—adds sentence variety without much effort.
  • Overuse of compound sentences can make a student’s writing sound childlike. So can overusing a single subject and a compound predicate.  If a student is aware that he tends to prefer these kinds of sentence formations, he can make changes as he writes or even before he writes a sentence.

    • Ask students who overuse compound sentences to circle all the “and,” “but” and “so” words in their sentences. Now ask them to relate the same ideas without using “and,” “but” or “so.”  Students are forced to imagine different sentence structures.
  • Compound-complex sentences generally are long. Occasionally, such sentences are fine, but a high mix of them usually makes for difficult reading.

    • Some compound-complex sentences are rambling, wordy sentences which should be cut into parts both for clarity and sophistication. Encourage the student to replace this kind of sentence with a complicated simple sentence and / or a complex sentence, not with a compound sentence.

We’ll discuss each of these sentence types in more detail in future blogs, but for now, let’s move on to my students’ favorite writing activity: math!

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Use dialog to begin sentences and paragraphs in order to add variety and life to writing

Posted on October 15, 2014 | Leave a comment

Author's Quote on adding dialogueHave you ever turned the page of a novel and come to long paragraphs of description or exposition?  And then the corner of your eye sees far down the next page a section of dialog?  What do you do?  Do you read the long paragraphs or do you jump to the dialog with its short sentences and friendly white space?

If you are like most people, you beeline to the dialog.

Dialog makes writing sparkle.  Once I read a novel in which there was no dialog, none whatsoever.  Over and over I wanted to quit.  This novel taught me the power of dialog in writing.

Children read chapter books like Junie B. Jones that are full of dialog, but children rarely think of adding dialog themselves.  However, once they add dialog they keep adding it, and their writing improves tremendously.

Why?  One of the easiest ways to get personality into writing is to introduce a character—even if it is the writer herself—whose unique way of thinking and saying attracts readers.  Charles Dickens was a master of this.  But so are some of my students.

dialog example

Notice how a third grade student uses dialog to show his personality and to hook the reader.

Adding dialog is like adding powerful verbs.  It has the same effect.

Sometimes when I read a student’s writing, I suggest, “This would be a good place for dialog.”  Often the student has people talking anyway, but using indirect speech.  I show the student how to turn the speech into direct quotes, and how to start a new paragraph when a different person speaks.

Dialog can also be a great hook in the introduction of an essay, providing that the person speaking says something worth hearing.

One caveat:  Sometimes, once students learn the power of dialog, they want to write only dialog, leaving out any sense of setting or nonverbal action.  In these cases the writing is confusing.  Help the student to see that some description of place, time and the emotional reactions of the people talking and listening are important for a well-rounded essay.

Next we’ll look at sentence types and how they impact writing.

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Parts of speech used at sentence beginnings should vary

Posted on October 7, 2014 | Leave a comment

For older students (usually fifth grade, but sometimes third or fourth grade for better skilled students), I analyze the parts of speech of first words of sentences.  If the student doesn’t understand nouns, pronouns, etc., there is no point in doing this, but if the student does or should understand parts of speech, this can be a useful way to explain why his repetitive patterns seem boring to readers.

A way to Analyze what parts of speech are being used to begin sentences.

Out of 20 sentences in a student’s essay, the sentence openers were frequently adverbs and articles, but verbs, subordinate conjunctions, gerunds and infinitives were not used at all. Knowing this, a student can improve his writing style by including the other parts of speech as sentence openings.

After the student has circled the first word of each sentence, I ask her to tally the parts of speech she has used for each first word of a sentence.  These parts of speech include nouns, pronouns, articles, adjectives, verbs, adverbs, prepositional phrases, conjunctions, gerunds and infinitives.

Students usually notice that they rely on the same parts of speech to open sentences.  Meanwhile, other parts of speech are rarely used.

Next, we go back over the essay and look at the overused parts of speech and try to vary the openings by using underused parts of speech.

  • Prepositional phrases are sometimes used by students only later in sentences. If the phrases are adverbial, they can be moved almost anywhere in the sentence, including to the front.  The student encircles the phrase and draws an arrow to move it to the front of the sentence.
  • Adverbs are often overused as first words, especially the words “also” and “then.” Most of the time these words can be eliminated without any loss of meaning.  But sometimes a synonym can replace those words so long as it does not draw attention to itself.  “And” is usually less conspicuous than “additionally.”
  • Verbs are rarely used as sentence openers because to start a sentence with a verb is to ask a question. Yet a rhetorical question not only varies the sentence opening, it varies the sentence type from a declarative to an interrogative.  Plus, like using a semicolon, it can seem elegant.
  • Most underused are gerunds and infinitives. Younger children rarely think of these words as sentence openers.  Modeling how to change sentences using these parts of speech can be an eye-opener for students who want their writing to sparkle.
  • Many students use complex sentences, but few put the subordinate clause first. Doing so adds a subordinate conjunction to the front of a sentence and changes the sentence structure.

Another kind of sentence opening that students don’t use often enough is dialog.  More on that in the next blog.

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Sentence beginnings should vary

Posted on September 30, 2014 | Leave a comment

Here is how many younger children write:

Today I woke up and ate breakfast.  Then I got on the school bus with my friend, Anya.  I sat near the window.  I put my backpack on a hook and I sat down.  I did my morning work first, and then I said the pledge.  I did math until it was time to go to specials. 

Do you notice that almost every sentence begins with “I,” and the two sentences that begin with another word use “I” as the second word?  What is the effect?  Boring.

Yet this is how beginning writers start their sentences.  Their world is “I” focused, and so is their writing.  As they grow older, this tendency wanes, but repeating the same word at the beginnings of many sentences continues.

Revising general wording to more expressive wording.

An excerpt of a third grader’s essay with his revisions.

Here’s how I break students of this habit.  First, I ask the students to circle the first word of every sentence, using a color quite different from the color they used to encircle verbs.  That is so the first words stand out.

Next, the students read the words aloud and listen for repetition.  Almost always they find it.

For new students, I offer suggestions on how to vary sentence openings.  This is a skill older students learn quickly, so after the first few lessons, they can work independently on future writing.  What are some easy yet effective ways to improve sentence openings?

  • Many sentences begin with a pronoun like “he” or “she.” I suggest using the person’s name if it hasn’t been used, or repeating the person’s name.  If it has been used as a sentence opening in a nearby sentence, I suggest using a relationship, such as “My mother” or “My music teacher.”
  • Sometimes there is a prepositional phrase later in the sentence which could easily be moved to the front of the sentence. “I went to school in the morning” could be changed to “In the morning I went to school.”
  • An adverb can often be added to the front of a sentence unless this technique is overused by the student. I help students find a less common adverb, such as “later” rather than “next” or “then.”
  • Sometimes consecutive sentences can be combined to eliminate a repetitive opening word. “I did my morning work first, and then I said the pledge.  I did math until it was time to go to specials” can be replaced with “I did my morning work, said the pledge, did math and then went to specials.”
  • Sometimes writing a new sentence beginning is what works best.

Next we will talk about changing parts of speech at the beginnings of sentences.

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