Category Archives: writing tips

Don’t put the cart before the horse

Posted on December 17, 2025 | Leave a comment

What’s wrong with these sentences?

  • The rocket exploded shortly after takeoff.
  • Without warning, the town’s tornado siren blared.
  • A mosquito suddenly bit my arm.

Grammatically, all three are correct sentences.  Spelling, punctuation—both are okay.  Clarity?  No problem.  So what is wrong?

All three put the cart before the horse.

Suppose you are an onlooker at the rocket launch.  Which do you see first?  Does the rocket explode first or does the rocket take off first?  It takes off first, right?  So that information  should come first in the sentence, in chronological order.

Suppose you are in town when the tornado siren blares.  Which are you aware of first?  That a tornado is coming without warning, or that a tornado siren blares?  The blaring of the warning system, right?  So it should precede that it happened without warning.

Suppose you see a mosquito bite my arm.  If you saw the mosquito fly over my arm and then move on without biting, would you use the word “suddenly”?  No.  It’s because the bite is unexpected that we use the word “suddenly.”  “Suddenly” should come at the end of the sentence—or maybe not at all.

Is “At first, I saw nothing” an okay sentence?  For technical reasons, yes.  But would you use words like “at first” if nothing happens?  Shouldn’t what happens—or in this case what doesn’t happen—come first in the sentence?  When you say “at first,” you are alerting the reader that something else will happen, and probably it will be better or worse than what happens first.

Try to put yourself in the shoes of the character you are writing about.  Write about events in the same order that the character experiences them without clues to the outcomes.  Let the reader find out what happens in the same chronological order as the character in the writing.

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Posted in chronological order, writing tips

Use PEE or PIE to develop body paragraphs in persuasive writing

Posted on September 24, 2025 | Leave a comment

PEE (Point, Evidence, Explain) is term to describe how paragraphs in persuasive writing should be developed.  It comes from research at the University of Arizona by Dr. Anne-Marie Hall who called it PIE (Point, Illustration, Explanation).  Paragraphs developed this way form good body paragraphs of persuasive writing.

Using this format, students write an opening topic sentence.  They follow it with facts to back it up.  Lastly, they connect the topic sentence and facts, analyzing how the facts support the topic sentence.

PEE is a method used in elementary grades to prepare students for persuasive writing.  Older students will use the same kind of logic in writing a thesis and in locating good research to cite to back a thesis.  PEE also teaches children the importance of facts such as names, numbers, and precise quotations if they want their opinions to be respected.

Here is a break-down of what PEE means, using and example that fourth graders could write:

P stands for Point, the point you are making in your answer to a question.  This point is made in a single sentence.  For example, the question could be, “Are you having a spelling test today?”  Your answer (point) could be, “Yes, I am having a spelling test today.

E stands for Evidence, the facts or examples that prove your point.  This evidence consists of facts such as numbers, dates, precise names, sources, and direct quotations.  For example, the evidence could be 1) It is Friday, and my teacher, Mrs. Spilling, always gives spelling tests on Friday.  2) Mrs. Spilling posted on September 23 on her school website (MrsBSpilling@ABCschool.edu) that my class is having a spelling test today.  3) My mother heard me my spelling words at 7:30 last night the way she always does the night before my spelling tests.

The second E stands for Explain.  That means to connect the point and the evidence.  For example, So because today is Friday, and my teacher, Mrs. Spilling posted on her website on Tuesday, September 23 that my class would have a spelling test today, and because my mother heard me my spelling words last night, I know I am having a spelling test today.

(A related idea which I have discussed previously in this blog is the sandwich method of introducing a quotation/citation into writing.)

The PEE or PIE format is not used for essay introductions or conclusions.  It shows a way to develop body paragraphs.

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Posted in PEE Point Evidence Explain, persuasive essay, PIE Point Illustration Explanation, teaching of writing, writing tips

The “write” way to stand out from the crowd on LinkedIn

Posted on August 12, 2025 | Leave a comment

On LinkedIn, standing out from the crowd is vital.  So how do you do that?

Don’t just “Like” a post.  Respond to a post in writing.  A written response, at a minimum, tells the writer of the post that you have read the post.  At a maximum, a written response will resonate with the writer of the post and develop a conversation, an introduction, a network, and who knows, work.

So what kinds of comments are good?  The kinds that engage you with the writer of the post will make you noticed.  If you want to be visible among the hundreds of thousands of social media users, you need to engage.  You need to take a step beyond the ☺ or the “Like” icons.  You need to say something meaningful to the writer of the post or to readers.  Noting that you “Like” a post does no good to anyone, including you.

Here are suggestions for good comments:

Quote part of the post and say what you think about it, what it brings to mind, or why you disagree.

Ask a question about the content.  Not all posts are clear.  Saying you’d value clearing up a confusing part shows you have engaged.

Supply a pertinent quotation from a well-known expert in the field.  Make a connection others might not.

Supply a witty quotation from a someone well known for their retorts.  Supply humor if you can.  Everyone loves humor.

Provide current news on the topic–the more up-to-date, the better.  And if the news is not generally available, tell where you found it so others can check for themselves.

Provide a counter point of view–respectfully.

Add a new angle, an insight, or an analogy.  Further the discussion with information which will extend the point made in the post.  Name a research paper, a book, an analysis that readers can find if they want deeper knowledge.

Involve yourself in the conversation if you want to be noticed.

 

 

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Posted in English Writing Instruction, LinkedIn, writing tips

Find the flaw

Posted on August 6, 2025 | Leave a comment

All of the following sentences have the same minor flaw.  Can you find it?

  • On the drive into the city from the airport, we encountered an accident.
  • The teacher scowled after she saw the robot.
  • The bird stopped singing as soon as it saw the cat.

Here’s the flaw.  In each sentence, the writer puts the later action first and the prior action second.

  • Which happens first, driving into the city or leaving the airport? Leaving the airport, right?  So the sentence is better written as “On the drive from the airport into the city. . .”
  • Which happens first, scowling or seeing the robot? Seeing the robot, right?  So the sentence is better written as “After she saw the robot, the teacher scowled.”
  • Which happens first, stopping singing or seeing the cat? Seeing the cat, right?  So the sentence is better written as “As soon as the bird saw the cat, the bird stopped singing.”

The flaw in all three sentences fits under the umbrella of “clarity.”  A sentence should be understood on a literal level during the first reading.  A reader should not need to reread a sentence to figure out in what order things are happening.

One way to gain clarity is by using chronological order.  We think in terms of what happens first, next, later and finally.  Our sentences should contain what happens first, first;  what happens next, next; and so on.  Reversing the order of telling can confuse readers.  [Reversing the order comes first; confusing readers comes second.]  Why take the chance?  Make your writing clear during the first read.

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Posted in clarity, English Writing Instruction, writing tips

Tips about Writing from Stephen King

Posted on April 5, 2025 | Leave a comment

Stephen King, the King of Horror, has written dozens of fictional bestsellers, many of which have become blockbuster movies.  He also wrote a book, On Writing, telling how he writes.  Here are some of his ideas.

From his own experience, King believes a writer’s job is to recognize two previously unrelated ideas and to make something new from them.

Writers write their first drafts for themselves, to tell themselves a story.  When they rewrite, they take out everything that is not part of the story.

Writers shouldn’t “dress up” their natural short-word vocabulary with long words.  They should use the first words that come into their heads.

You don’t need to write in complete sentences all the time.

Avoid passive verbs.  Timid writers use passive verbs because they seem safe.

Forget using adverbs.

Fear leads to bad writing.

Use “said.”

To make possessive nouns, add apostrophe S every time.

Easy-to-read books contain lots of white space and dialog.

To be a good writer, do two things:  read a lot and write a lot.

If you don’t have time to read a lot, you don’t have the time or the know-how to write well.

To learn what not to do, read bad writing.

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Posted in adverbs, apostrophes, fear of writing, fiction writing, fragments, good writing v. bad writing, how to write better, passive verbs, possessive nouns, practice reading skills, practice writing skills, revising first drafts, said, short words, writing tips