Category Archives: English Writing Instruction

Writing well takes study and practice.

Let students learn from other students’ writing

Students love to read what other students have written, especially if everyone is writing about the same thing and if everyone is the same age.  Students are immediately engaged, checking to see how their peers handle the same writing assignment as themselves.

For example, I have asked elementary students to read the textless picture book Flora and the Penguin by Molly Idle.  Then I have asked them to analyze the table below.  It contains student-written versions of parts of the Flora story.

Linda Marion Nancy
One day there was a girl On a cold winter day a girl Once upon a time Flora
There was a penguin who wanted to play with her. When a penguin poked its beak out of the water A penguin named Steve put his body in the water.
They started to dance while ice skating.  They did more and more ice skating until they were tired. They skated this way and that way. They skated and danced together.  They jumped and twirled.  They slid across the ice.
When the penguin saw a fish, he jumped in the water. The penguin smelled a school of fish. Steve poked his head in the water.  Flora said, “What are you doing?”  Steve disappeared.
When he came out he had a fish in his mouth.  Then the penguin gave it to her as a present. The penguin came back with a fish in her mouth.  Flora was outraged.  The penguin gave the fish to Flora. Steve got a fish.  He gave it to Flora as a present.  Flora thought the fish was disgusting.
She threw it back in the water. She threw it back in the water. So, she threw it back in the water.
Before she left, she put her [shoe]lace in the water and tried to get a fish.  So, she kept on pulling until she got a fish. Flora felt sorry for the penguin, so she took off one of the lacings on her skates.  She dipped it in the water so she could get a fish for the penguin.  The two of them pulled as hard as they could and out came a fish. She took her [shoe]lace out.  She put it in the water just like a fishing net.  A fish approached.  They both tugged and tugged and tugged and tugged on the lace.  They caught the fish.
The fish got eaten by the penguin. They started skating and they were happy. They started skating all over again.

Usually when  students analyze the writing of other students, they recognize when it is good.  They note that “This version has dialog” or “This version tells that it’s morning.”  Analyzing the writing in the table above, one second grader said he like the “tugged and tugged and tugged and tugged” part because it shows how hard it was to catch a fish.  Another said she liked “They skated and danced together.  They jumped and twirled.  They slid across the ice.” because it showed different kinds of play.

Students are surprised to see that some second graders write better than some fifth graders.  We discuss what the second graders do that the fifth graders don’t.  “More details.”  “Different ways to start sentences.”  “More interesting verbs.”

Help your students become better writers by exposing them to the writing of other students.  Encourage them to analyze why some writing is better than others.  Take a simple scene such as a girl and a penguin sliding across ice and ask students to describe it.  Then share responses and discuss what is good about them.

As they say, good writing is not rocket science.  Mostly it’s revising.

Here’s another dialog problem with three possible solutions. Which is best?

Check out these three examples of dialog to find the best one.

Example f

“What are you doing?” Mom asked.

“Playing marbles,” Joan said.

“And whose marbles are those?”

“Mine.”

“Are you sure?  They look like Michael’s—all cat’s eyes.”

“Well, they’re not.  They’re mine.”

 

Example g

“What are you doing?” Mom asked.

“Playing marbles,” Joan said.

“And whose marbles are those?” Mom asked.

“Mine,” Joan said.

“Are you sure?  They look like Michael’s—all cat’s eyes,” Mom said.

“Well, they’re not.  They’re mine,” Joan said.

 

Example h:

“What are you doing?” Mom asked.

“Playing marbles,” Joan mumbled.

“And whose marbles are those?” Mom demanded.

“Mine,” Joan uttered.

“Are you sure?  They look like Michael’s—all cat’s eyes,” Mom stated.

“Well, they’re not.  They’re mine,” Joan remarked.

 

In examples g and h, each bit of dialog is attached to the name of the speaker.  In example f, on the other hand, only the first two bits are attached to a name.  Yet, example f is just as clear as the other two examples.  If there are only two speakers, and from the dialog it’s clear who is speaking, it is not necessary to identify the speaker each time something is said.  So example f is the best of the three.

Example g is the second best because the speakers’ names are followed by “said,” a word which is almost invisible.  Rarely is there a reason to highlight how words are spoken.  “Said” is usually the best word to use.

Example h uses a different word to describe how each statement in the dialog is said:  asked, mumbled, demanded, uttered, stated, remarked.  By doing this, the writer is calling attention away from what is said—which is most important—to how it is said or more likely to how it isn’t said.  Asked, mumbled, demanded, uttered, stated and remarked seem to be used more for the sake of vocabulary variety than for the sake of informing the reader about the way the dialog is spoken.

Pick up a classic book and find a section of dialog.  Read it less for what the information is and more for the way the author puts it together—what bits of dialog are identified with a speaker’s name and what ones are not, and what vocabulary is used to identify how the words are spoken.  I think you’ll find that most dialog is not attributed when it is within a several-sentence section of dialog, and when it is attributed, the verb “said” is most often used.

How to introduce a character, part 2

Where a character is introduced in a story—the location—is important.  Either the character can be introduced in a familiar place—home, classroom, school bus, soccer field—or in an unfamiliar place.  Each has its advantages.

Consider ways to help readers remember characters’ names.

Today let’s look at situations where the character is introduced in an unfamiliar setting—as a fish out of water.  How does a rural Minnesotan behave in tony Long Island in the Jazz Age?  How does a wealthy aristocratic landowner behave in the presence of a quick-witted, irreverent young woman?  Are they exhilarated?  Panicky?  Do they accept the values of their new locations?  Or do they find those values and those who live by them repugnant?

In The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald, the narrator, Nick, has grown up in Minnesota, but he has decided to work in Manhattan.  He has dinner with an old classmate and a distant cousin, thinking he will feel at home with them on Long Island, but he doesn’t.  They have changed.  The man has become a racist, controlling aristocrat, and the woman an empty-headed little fool.  They introduce Nick to a beautiful athlete.  He learns she cheats.  For a while they date and he accepts her morality, but ultimately, he can’t stomach it.  Nick meets a gambler who offers him a job.  Nick turns it down.  By the novel’s end, Nick realizes he doesn’t belong in New York, and he returns to the Midwest and its values.

What is the advantage of having Nick, the newcomer, narrate Gatsby?  Nick is seeing 1920s Long Island and Manhattan society for the first time.  We are right there with him, piggybacked on Nick’s shoulders, experiencing his raw reactions.  Like Nick, we are shocked by the behavior of Tom, Daisy, Jordan and Gatsby.  Nick can’t accept “this is just the way things are.”  He wants a world of clear morality where people are responsible for their actions, not careless.  Because we are in Nick’s head, so do we.

Another fish-out-of-water character is Fitzwilliam Darcy when he meets Lizzy Bennet early in Pride and Prejudice.  At the village assembly, Darcy dances with none of the local girls, including Lizzy.  He says they are unfamiliar.  As the book progresses, Darcy, an extremely wealthy man, is teased by Lizzy when he is used to being deferred to.   He doesn’t know how to respond.  When he can no longer ignore his attraction to Lizzy and he proposes, he is bewildered and angered when she says no.  Who is she—a poor man’s daughter—to turn down one of the wealthiest men in Britain?  Gradually, Darcy and Lizzy reconcile, and at novel’s end, marry.  Darcy accepts Lizzy’s family and their baggage, but at a distance, as he heads to his estate with his bride, where, presumably, Lizzy will be the fish-out-of-water.

Why does Jane Austen make Darcy the outsider?  Pride and Prejudice is a satire.  Many of those being ridiculed in the book are from the landowning class (Darcy), the aristocracy (Darcy’s aunt), and the clergy.  The observer of the satire is Lizzy, the character with the keenest sense of humor. Darcy is arrogant, so we, who identify with Lizzy, chuckle when Darcy’s hot air is pricked.  Many early scenes set up for later ironic ones:  Darcy, who won’t dance with Lizzy, is later turned down by Lizzy as a dance partner; Darcy, who insults Lizzy’s family while proposing, is himself insulted by Lizzy’s in her refusal; Darcy, who is able to protect his younger sister from an imprudent elopement—and to protect himself, too, from scandal—cannot protect Lizzy’s younger sister from an elopement with the same scoundrel, and cannot protect Lizzy from the tawdry association.

Usually, when we start to read a novel, we are outsiders to the world of the novelist.  We haven’t lived in F. Scott Fitzgerald’s 1920s Long Island nor in Jane Austen’s early 19th century Britain.  But that is one of the attractions of novels.  We can immerse ourselves in an unfamiliar time and place, know it well, and then leave—like Nick does in Gatsby—or commit—like Darcy does in Pride and Prejudice.

Chart Method of note-taking

Note-taking is one of those skills that some teachers assume students know.  But many students have never been taught this skill essential for school success.  Below is one note-taking method.

The Chart Method of note-taking is recording information in chart or table form.  It is a good method to note data or facts.  Below is an example of a Chart Method of note-taking.

Ages of US Presidents

 

 

 

*President Grover Cleveland was inaugurated two times with a gap of four years between his two inaugurations.  He is counted twice in this category for an age of 47 at his first inauguration and an age of 55 at his second.
**Several past presidents are alive and are not included in this category.

To use this method of note-taking, the notetaker first determines what the main categories of the chart are.  These become the headings of the columns.  Next the notetaker draws the table.  In rows labeled to the left, the notetaker lists key points to be included under each column.

The chart method of note-taking has many advantages:

  • The chart is a clear visual representation of information.
  • The layout allows a quick comparison of the data.
  • Usually, no sentences need be written, streamlining the note-taking.
  • Anyone can quickly retrieve information from the chart.
  • Charts are adaptable to many subjects.
  • Charts aid in pattern recognition.
  • Charts are well organized.

The chart method of note-taking has disadvantages:

  • Information which is not readily broken down into categories is not well suited for chart note-taking.
  • At the start of a lecture, a student might not realize a chart is useful for the material to be covered, so the student might not draw one.
  • Some categories might have no relevant data, and other categories might have numerous data.

Teachers can help students learn to take notes in chart form by modeling charts or by alerting students that a chart might be a good way to write the information about to be presented.

How important are apostrophes?

On many SAT exams, students face choosing either “its,” “it’s,” “its’,” “their,” they’re,” or “there” as an answer to a prompt.  For example, what is the correct answer for the following clause?

“Toward the end of the 1400s, as the Renaissance was reaching its height. . .”

  1. NO CHANGE
  2. it’s
  3. its’
  4. their

Colleges must think knowing how to spell “its” and “their” correctly is an important skill for college-bound students to use correctly.  Otherwise, why would questions about their spelling be on the exams?  But is knowing if an apostrophe is needed and how to use it really that important?

In northern England, the North Yorkshire Council voted recently to remove apostrophes from street names.  So, the former “St. Mary’s Walk” has been changed to “St. Marys Walk.”  Another change is from “King’s Walk” to “Kings Walk.”

The meaning of each street name is slightly different without the apostrophe.  But would you be confused if you were looking for an address?  When we say, “St. Mary’s Walk,” we don’t mention the apostrophe, yet we are understood.

English teachers spend hours of classroom time instilling in children the importance of using apostrophes correctly.  In the phrase, “the sisters bike,” do you know where the apostrophe goes?  Or even if an apostrophe is needed?  (Yes, an apostrophe is needed.  If it is one sister, the answer is between the “r” and “s.”  If it is two or more sisters, the answer is after the “s.”)

In contractions, the apostrophe takes the place of missing letters.  But don’t you understand “I dont know” as well as “I don’t know”?

What is spurring the dropping of apostrophes?  Computers.  Data bases.  Text messages.  Multitasking.  Frantic lives.  In our increasingly digital world, apostrophes are deemed unimportant.  On my phone, I need to shift to a different screen if I want to use an apostrophe and then shift back.  I still do that, but it takes time.  I notice my children don’t bother.  If we understand speech without apostrophes, why complicate things by using them in writing?

Grammar teachers may wonder if they have wasted their lives focusing on the correct use of apostrophes, quotation marks, and commas.  Cursive writing teachers may wonder the same.  For past generations, apostrophes were signs of a well educated person.  Today they still are, but that is changing.

By the way, the correct response to the question at the beginning of the blog is NO CHANGE.