Several weeks ago I wrote a blog about improving sentence construction by copying sentence structures of good writers. (See my blog “Imitate classic sentences to improve your writing. ) The type sentences I discussed then were cumulative sentences, sometimes called additive sentences, which informally add more information as the sentence goes on, as this sentence does.
Today I would like to discuss copying the structure of more formal sentences created by careful planning. They “breathe” conviction and confidence, according to Stanley Fish, author of How to Write a Sentence.
One example is the opening sentence of Jane Austen’s Pride and Prejudice: “It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” Another such sentence is the first sentence of Leo Tolstoy’s Anna Karenina: “All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way.” Still another is the opening clauses of Charles Dickens’ A Tale of Two Cities: “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” These sentences encourage the reader to pause and consider their meanings for truth, for irony, and for insight.
How can you create your own such sentences? According to Fish, you should analyze sentences you recognize as great, remove the content and fill in the structure with your own content. (It’s like baking a potato, scooping out the center, and then filling the skin with your homemade chili.) To do this, Fish advises you to
- write short sentences.
- use parallel structures.
- use one- or two-syllable words
- use the present tense.
Here are some examples I wrote:
“When taking a trip with kids, go to playgrounds first before you run out of sunny days and sunny spirits.” Let’s analyze this sentence using Fish’s advice.
- Write short sentences. 20 words
- Use parallel structures. “sunny days and sunny spirits”
- Use one- or two-syllable words. 14 one-syllable words, 6 two-syllable words, 0 three-syllable words
- Use present tense. Done
Here is another. “Keep your children close and your spouse closer.”
- Write short sentences. 8 words
- Use parallel structure. “Keep your children close and [keep] your spouse closer.”
- Use one- or two-syllable words. 6 one-syllable words, 2 two-syllable words, 0 three-syllable words
- Use present tense. Done
And another: “When soldiers drill from dawn to dusk on borders dense with tanks and such, beware of Trojan horses.”
- Write short sentences: 18 words
- Use parallel structure. “from dawn to dusk,” “with tanks and such”
- Use one- or two-syllable words. 13 one-syllable words, 5 two-syllable words, 0 three-syllable words
- Use present tense. Done
When could you use such sentences?
- the opening sentences of a novel, short story, or speech
- the closing of a letter or an article or a chapter
- a “gotcha ya!” retort from a character or yourself
- the moral of a story
According to Fish, the more you write these sentences, the easier you write them. And the easier they become, the more you use them. (Did you notice? I just wrote two of them.)
English Writing Teacher 