Students love to read what other students have written, especially if everyone is writing about the same thing and if everyone is the same age. Students are immediately engaged, checking to see how their peers handle the same writing assignment as themselves.
For example, I have asked elementary students to read the textless picture book Flora and the Penguin by Molly Idle. Then I have asked them to analyze the table below. It contains student-written versions of parts of the Flora story.
| Linda | Marion | Nancy |
| One day there was a girl | On a cold winter day a girl | Once upon a time Flora |
| There was a penguin who wanted to play with her. | When a penguin poked its beak out of the water | A penguin named Steve put his body in the water. |
| They started to dance while ice skating. They did more and more ice skating until they were tired. | They skated this way and that way. | They skated and danced together. They jumped and twirled. They slid across the ice. |
| When the penguin saw a fish, he jumped in the water. | The penguin smelled a school of fish. | Steve poked his head in the water. Flora said, “What are you doing?” Steve disappeared. |
| When he came out he had a fish in his mouth. Then the penguin gave it to her as a present. | The penguin came back with a fish in her mouth. Flora was outraged. The penguin gave the fish to Flora. | Steve got a fish. He gave it to Flora as a present. Flora thought the fish was disgusting. |
| She threw it back in the water. | She threw it back in the water. | So, she threw it back in the water. |
| Before she left, she put her [shoe]lace in the water and tried to get a fish. So, she kept on pulling until she got a fish. | Flora felt sorry for the penguin, so she took off one of the lacings on her skates. She dipped it in the water so she could get a fish for the penguin. The two of them pulled as hard as they could and out came a fish. | She took her [shoe]lace out. She put it in the water just like a fishing net. A fish approached. They both tugged and tugged and tugged and tugged on the lace. They caught the fish. |
| The fish got eaten by the penguin. | They started skating and they were happy. | They started skating all over again. |
Usually when students analyze the writing of other students, they recognize when it is good. They note that “This version has dialog” or “This version tells that it’s morning.” Analyzing the writing in the table above, one second grader said he like the “tugged and tugged and tugged and tugged” part because it shows how hard it was to catch a fish. Another said she liked “They skated and danced together. They jumped and twirled. They slid across the ice.” because it showed different kinds of play.
Students are surprised to see that some second graders write better than some fifth graders. We discuss what the second graders do that the fifth graders don’t. “More details.” “Different ways to start sentences.” “More interesting verbs.”
Help your students become better writers by exposing them to the writing of other students. Encourage them to analyze why some writing is better than others. Take a simple scene such as a girl and a penguin sliding across ice and ask students to describe it. Then share responses and discuss what is good about them.
As they say, good writing is not rocket science. Mostly it’s revising.
English Writing Teacher 